if you can hear me now73.32.203.196Posted On September 30, 2017 at 7:01 PM by henry tudor

The words that Sterling spoke broke his heart into a million tiny pieces. Knowing that his boyfriend had believed that he would never come back was hurtful and yet hopeful all the same. The idea that he had disappointed his boyfriend so greatly weighed heavily on him. And yet with the same breath…knowing that Sterling wanted him back…made him happy inside. He still loved Sterling with every ounce of his being. “If I had known you were alive, I would have come back much sooner.” He had gone to the hospital but no one had a record of Sterling ever being there. He had truly thought his boyfriend was dead. It was a feeling he had to deal with for weeks. It tore him down in ways he never thought possible.

He held Sterling close, wishing he could put himself closer to him. He wanted to hold onto Sterling and never let him go. He could not control the way his body craved Sterling in every way and yet…his mind was far less willing to give into those desires which once ruled him.

When he felt Sterling’s hand upon his hip, he thought nothing of it. He just relished the closeness of Sterling. However, when he felt his boyfriend’s hand brush against the desire he held within his jeans, he could not stop the reaction it cause. He felt his jeans grow more taught and he reached to press his hand against Sterling’s to stall him. “I…” He wasn’t sure what to say. He wanted Sterling…as evidence by his body’s reaction to his closeness and yet…he was so very frightened that he would hurt the man again. He was struggling with how to word his fears, not knowing if Sterling felt them as well. “I’m scared…” He sighed as he pulled Sterling firm against his chest, his head resting on his boyfriend’s. “I can’t hurt you again…” It was irrational for him to think that he would shift now and hurt him again, but he couldn’t stop the thoughts that plagued him. It would take time to heal them both…how much time was still uncertain.


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