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Draft107.77.97.119Posted On November 13, 2017 at 8:05 AM by Lixa♢

dance to the rhythm of your heartbeat

Who she had been before him, before she had left her small rural hometown for a life, and who she was now, in this very moment, unable to withhold the desire that was still very much foreign and new to her, it was practically startling how differs those parts of her were in silent comparison to one another. Before Andras, she had been the quiet little woman that had a small handful of friends and yet at the end of the day would rather spend her afternoons with that beloved nikon camera chasing a dream that still danced in hopeful optimism within the deeper realms of her heart, even when there was something - or rather someone - that now seemed to fill every piece of her, every still moment when her mind would wander. Somewhere within the blue-eyed blonde, that more timid yet sweet and perhaps even naïve young woman still existed, seeming to appear in those days where she was not with the man that gave her so many feelings never before felt. She came forth in those evenings spent with Ellie as the two women would walk through Hyde Park talking and laughing as Beylani would snap those photos of the younger honey-blonde woman, the storm of emotions and the warring between two halves of her heart as that battled forgotten so long as she was with her closest friend. At least, when Ellie wasn't asking after Andras, which the young woman seemed to delight in doing from time to time as she would give Beylani that knowing smile."You know you like him, Lani. Just tell him, maybe he feels the same way and is just as nervous about it as you are". And oh, how the blue-eyed blonde would feel that flush warm her fair-skinned cheeks, leaving Beylani stumbling for words to change the subject back to how beautiful the weathed was or of how business at the bistro was going, wanting to talk about anything and everything so long as it wasn't about the man she could not help but love with every beat of her heart despite knowing that there could never be a future with him. In all truth, Ellie hadn't even the slightest idea just how far, how deep those feelings for the fae lord ran. 'Like' hardly came anywhere even remotely close to scratching the tip of the iceberg that was her love for him. It hardly even touched the air above that metaphorical tip. She didn't 'like' him... she loved him. This was something that she had long since stopped fighting against. Struggling to deny the way that she felt for him had proven in the end to be futile and exhausting, and so she had finally convinced herself to turn and face them, to accept them and embrace them but to do so gingerly, as if if were as delicate as butterfly wings.

Perhaps it was the very act of surrendering entirely to how she felt for him that has given life to the bold and daring woman that stood there against me refrigerator with desire burning brightly in baby blues as thick lashes blinked slowly and sultrily over them while she regarded him with that wanting intertwined dangerously with her love she could no longer refuse. It could not be clearer that he and he alone brought out this side to Beylani that even she hadn't known was there. Maybe it hadn't even been there before, borne out of the way that Andras so seemed to enjoy teasing and taunting her as he would purr to the young woman in midnight tenor tones only to make her blush and become so flustered she,like hardly think. Maybe that boldness clearly written in that impish smile and twinkling gaze as she watched hazel eyes wander over her womanly curves hadn't been there until finally she had decided to try and return those nearly cruel gestures he eagerly departed unto her. She had never expected that it would be a game they would play, one making their move only for the other to counter in some sort of effortless dance. There was not even the smallest trace of uncertainty when that coquettish part of Beylani rose to the surface and dared to tempt the fae man if only to return the favor for all those times where he'd left her breathless and bashful... She thinks for a moment back to her birthday, that moment they'd shared in the department stor and how he'd pulled her closely to him, that having been the first time his touch had ever felt the way it so often did now. Yes, he had delighted in the way he'd easily outdone that boldness which had dared to rise for the first time that evening, but she could have sworn still to this day that there had been something more... Ever since, there had been a change in their figurative dance. It was almost as though it had become more than Beylani growing determined to make him faulter as he made her with so little effort, only ever needing to whisper the right words in those tenor tones so capable of rendering her speechless, shifted into something beyond Andras taking wicked pleasure in seeing just how deeply he could make the young woman blush. Now, it was like, somewhere along the way, the desire had become something softer and yet stronger all in the very same moment. Somehow, in the time that had come to pass between them, that defiance changed into passion and wanting and his wicked and near torturous gestures dared to whisper of so much more than a desire to see her grow flustered... It was almost like the way that he would kiss her skin meant something so much deeper, and it was always then that she would find herself caught between wanting to believe that there truly was something there and trying to tell herself she was being foolish, that they were no different than those first gestures meant to stir her.

Closing the small distance between them, Beylani does not fail to see the amusement that flickers across those predatory hazel eyes as he stalks closer to her. Before, when she had been easily swayed from her boldness, she might have faltered and asked herself what in the world she was thinking as she tempted him. However, that was hardly the case now. Now, the blue-eyed blonde easily holds fast to that daring part of her as he begins to circle her, finding that she rather enjoyed the way that his gaze seemed to nearly ravage her, undress her without removing the thin lace and black fabric. Tenor tones usher forth in question as she feels that increasingly familiar boldness rise just a little further as baby blue eyes remain upon his gaze even as he moves, elegant and loosely curled blonde locks tickling the bare skin of her shoulders as her head turns to follow him."That's for me to know and you to be left wondering", she purrs teasingly back to him, blush-colored lips dancing with an impish smile as she casts him a near devious look. When he pauses behind her and leans in to whisper against her skin that seemed to come alive under his soft breath, her sultry smile only seems to grow just a touch more."I am pleased to know that you are enjoying what you see", she whispers back, as if they were in a crowded room of strangers that had no need to hear such coy and teasing words falling softly from her lips. She does not turn to face him as he lingers there behind her, so very closely...He needn't even be touching her for the young woman to feel him, her slender frame silently waiting in anticipation for what he might do next. At her words, she can feel his arms wrap around her waist as he pulls her back to his defined torso. She can feel her body respond wordlessly, figuratively sighing as her skin melts into his own. She wanted to remain there always... even in this moment when desire hung heavily between them. Again, he whispers into her ear and for a moment she feels that softer part of her stirring. He was right, she wouldn't have been so daring back in Somnia. At least, she could easily see this to be true. Heaven forbid it if Ida were to catch them in such a way as they were now... Then again, Beylani couldn't help feeling that the dear fae woman that reminded her so much of her late grandmother knew more than she let on to. All the same though, the young woman didn't even want to think of a scenario where she and the fae man would be caught like two teenagers in the beginnings of something meant only for love.

Unbidden, she can feel her body stiffen as Andras takes her ear lobe into his mouth and every part of her awakens to him. She can feel her desire rising, her heart quicken as be nibbled the sensitive skin there before suddenly his lips are caresses the skin of her nape. He knew what he did to her, and at this thought she yearned for him to take her. A thousand times over. She wanted for him to be the one to take her innocence, no matter the consequences, even when they both knew that there was no way they could truly be together. He was the only one she wanted to be her first, and likely even her last. There was no taking her heart back from the fae man whom she had silently given it to. Did he know? Could he see how she looked up at him, the way those baby blues burning with wanting held undertones of the words she so desperately wanted to confess to him only for them to remain locked away? While a large part of her hoped that he couldn't, that small part of the young woman so wished that he could... Maybe then, he would help her to make sense of all this. But he says nothing, and neither does she as her hands move along the back of his neck before she turns in his embrace to face him. He gives her that predatory grin that only seems to encourage her further as she begins to reveal the bare skin of his chest, that gleam in his gaze nearly asking for her to never stop until it was entirely unfastened. Where she might have once grown shy beneath her own actions, she does not now. Not this time as that question falls softly from her lips, the feel of his hands upon her hips setting fire to that desire for him. When her next string of words usher quietly between them, something changes… That look in his hazel eyes, it wasn’t one that she knew, or if she had seen it before then perhaps she simply wasn’t remembering. They’ve widened before in surprise, but that look she saw for only a fleeting moment was different. It unsettled her for a moment, her heart beginning to race in her chest but this time it was not from the nearness of him that she so yearned for. Was this the moment where things would fall apart? Had she said something wrong, or perhaps was it something that she hadn’t said? He clears his throat then as he pulls her closer to him and wraps her up in his embrace. Usually, this would have settled her, filled her with warmth and only deepen that love she felt for him, but it didn’t. She is silent as she keeps her hands still upon his bare chest, swallowing lightly as she tried to tell herself it was nothing when something in the young woman told her that it was far from nothing.

Almost instantaneously, that boldness comes crashing down around her as he murmurs her name softly into her hair as he continued to hold her close. In that brief silence that lingers between them, she can’t help the ache that grasps at her heart. Not now… Please, just stay here a little longer… Don’t go… When those two words tumble over his tongue in those tenor tones, that part of her comes rushing forth. I told you so. That’s what it whispers to her heart, and in the wake of that part of Beylani which had long since anticipated something like this, a wave of confusion rises to overwhelm it only for everything to swirl together like foaming tides as they crashed against jagged coral. She wanted to ask why, felt something entirely new find her heart then as she almost tears herself away from him and yet she does not have the strength to. This could be the last time she would ever get to hold him… She couldn’t help but feel like the fae man that had so quickly become an enormous part of her world was going to leave her, just like everyone else had. No. He wouldn’t. There’s got to be a reason… All those looks, those stolen kisses, that day in the log cabin not far from Somnia… How could that have all been false fantasy? How could all that mean nothing? She wants to tell him it’s okay, wanted to say that she understood, but those words would be nothing short of lies, and even now she couldn’t bring herself to lie to Andras. Even if she didn’t love her back, she wouldn’t, couldn’t stop loving him. He sighs into her hair, pulling away just enough so that as she slowly tilts her baby blues up to meet those soft hazels storming with unreadable things, she sees that look of amusement settle onto his handsome features, and it just didn’t seem to fit with his words. She forces herself to smile softly up to him then, forces herself to bury those feelings and all the confusion as she has all along.”You’re probably right”, she answers quietly back, and just like that, the flames are gone, reduced to glowing embers as if doused by a bucket of cold water as he reaches for her hand and leads her over to her bedroom door. He stops there, tenor tones reaching for her once more and again she wills another affectionate smile as she fights against her own shadows in that moment silently. He pulls her close and this time, she buries her face into his chest, wrapping her arms around him as she squeezes him tightly… almost desperately. It felt almost like a farewell, this embrace that he took her into. It wasn’t, but it felt like it. She couldn’t ignore the feelings as they threaten her. She releases him just a little so that his lips find her forehead then as another soft smile finds blush-colored lips. No matter what it was that seemed to fall out of place in these past few moments, she would always smile for him. Always.”Good night, Andras”, she says almost breathlessly before she cracks open the door, making sure that Chika wasn’t waiting there so that the tortoiseshell might slip out and escape, before sliding through the small opening. She turns to close it behind her, but not without casting baby blues up to the fae man’s hazels once more. I love you… So close those words were from falling, and yet, they are silent as she closes the door and makes her way to her bed where the feline slept soundly. A heavy sigh rushes through Beylani then as she reaches for her sleeping companion, soft fur offers a dull comfort to the young woman before she slides between the sheets. There is a weight on her heart, a weight that feels so close to crushing it as that loneliness envelops her. How was it that they could be so close, and yet they felt like they were worlds away as she lay there in her bed and he on the other side of that bedroom door? So many questions, so many emotions, and they all overwhelm her in that moment as she lays there. Alone.

She tosses and turns throughout most of the night, unable to settle and unable to give in to the elusive hold of sleep. So many times, she’d found herself so close to leaving her covers so that she could slip onto the futon beside Andras. Was that truly so wrong, that wanting to be close to him? Was it as forbidden as it suddenly and unexplainably seemed to feel? She gives up at one point during the twilight hours, even when normally stroking the sleeping feline beside her would have helped her fall asleep and yet she lingers still. Only when the sky shifts from blue-black to violet, whispering of the sunrise to come, does she finally find it unbearable, and she quietly moves into a sitting position. In the dark of her room, she can just make out the shape of that camera he’d given her, sitting there on the nightstand beside her where it always was unless it was in her hands. Sliding quietly out of bed, she moves to retrieve the device from where it sat and shuffles as silently as she can towards the door. Had he found sleep, or was his night just as long as her own? Holding her breath, she reaches for the handle of her bedroom door and slowly opens it, and that’s when she sees him there. At some point during the night, during one of those fleeting moments where she’d lost consciousness for likely no more than an hour, he’d reclined the futon into that makeshift bed. She steps ever closer, until finally she is standing there over him. Crouching down beside the futon and sleeping fae, she simply watches him for a moment. He seemed so peaceful, the steady and soft rise and fall of his chest as he slept – or halfway slept, she wasn’t entirely sure. One hand rested over his chest as his head was tilted to the side and towards her on one of the cushions, dark hair falling over his face as he lay there… She can’t help the soft smile that finds her lips, affection softened by sadness for a moment before she lifts that camera up to her face and presses that shutter button. Just the gesture alone reminds her of that first time they met, and it is a catalyst for so many memories in that single small second. Lowering the camera, she looks at the photo, of how that soft and weak first light barely breaking through thin linen curtains in the living room illuminate his face softly… How differently she’d felt back then… Without thinking, she sets the camera there on the coffee table as quietly as she can, and slides onto the small futon just big enough for the two of them. She lays there next to him then, one arm tucked under her head as she simply watches him for a time before she shifts closer to him. If he wasn’t coming to in this moment, he surely was now as she presses herself lightly against his side, moving one hand to rest over his own that was settled over his chest. If only things were different…

Beylani Rose~
dante|image by claudia nuta


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