Her days were no longer the same as two years ago, not as simple to take a day at a time. back then she was a innocent child, obvious of the darkness and wrong things that lurk the night. she had almost forgotten what her nightmares were like, but they did not stray far. just yesterday it came knocking on her door, remind her that trust is easily broken. the day he drew a knife into her side, he cut through the thin trust she had for love, for men and for herself. she disliked her body with the scar, it seemed so out of place on pale stone skin. like blood on a white carpet, staining and irreparable. this was her lesson, do trust no one and keep to herself. she changed after that, but she met tobi and made her question what she forced herself to believe. one of the many reasons why she moved out with her father, distancing herself. she felt as if she was in danger, danger of not recognizing herself and making the same mistake. she did not favor another scar on her skin, she rather flee then fight. she hated violence, she hated to hurt because she knew how it felt. the way she had loved this man, the way his lips curled into a smirk, as if he accomplished great things, while she was whittling in pain , bleeding on the cold basement floor.
She scoffs as she takes a sip of rhum at 3 am. she remembers scrolling her father for drinking his misery, for letting himself become who he was. it was so hypocritical of her, while she did the same in her room, and even now, her old habits return faithfully when her nightmares returned. his face is all she sees, but this time she saw tobi's face holding the knife and dropping it. he kneels down and cried, something she had never seen or thought he was capable of. blood covering his hands and face as he hides into them. she hushes him, saying everything was going to be alright,that he never meant to. for the first time in all her life, she felt free , finally giving up on her life and abandoning herself to a life without pain, even though she would not be breathing nor living anymore. at that very moment is when she breaks free and wakes up, tears in her own eyes. she felt sad, sad for tobi to cry and how he wasn't totally human anymore by men's fault. she remembers the way his body was so heavily scared, uneven and simply out of place, even thought to some it would be repulsive, but like him, she found beauty in a real life canvas like himself.
After drinking enough to feel numb, to be able to return and sleep the rest of the night, she flops down in her king-size bed. she slumbers deeply without any interruptions, not even a dream by passed her brain. she wakes very late from her usual hour, it was passed 1 already. she jumps up staring at the alarm clock.
"WHY DID YOU NOT WAKE ME?!" she spits out angrily. of course the electronic would not answer her and she runs down into her bedroom. while by passing she sees her brother nude walking through the hall way. god she hated when he did that, it wasn't something she wanted to see, not out of her sibling. she takes a long shower, enjoying the hot water cascade over her sore body. she hated drinking to forget, but that is all that can make sure she does not fright in the middle of the night. now she understood her father better, he was simply wanting the same tranquility and lack of conscience. she takes a few minutes to choose her wear for the day, finding she was running late even if she was going to end up being there early.
ivory cloth bails out behind her as she walks to her car,
DRESS light and perfect for a warm day. she lowers herself into her hot pink lotus, grabbing the steering. she turns the keys and the car rumbles to life, soft purrs betraying its true hard power. her high heel presses down on the gas, the car jumps forth, leaving a shrieking noise while the scent of burned rubber. she looks at the paper, looking one last time for the address. she looks out the window and smiles, while pulling over and into a open spot. she cuts the engines before opening the doors as they open in a scissor fashion. she swiftly closes the door and locks the car with her distant remote. upon entering, a lady re-directs her to a sit far away from people and near a window. the light is soft and its warms her skin, not that it needed it. she orders maybe 2 shots before her company arrives. she smiles at the stunning beauty she was and always as been, but even more in her dress. her visitor slips into a sit and starts of with her favored humor, she chuckles in response.
"You haven't changed" she says with a soft and sincere smile.
Her hands reaches out to grab ari's own hands, lightly squishing them with the joy she is to see the other woman again. she of course does not linger in this act of affection, purely friendly.
"It as, and i am fine and you? what as become of you ari?" she mimics her friends smile as she answer to her question. she puts her chin into her hands and waits, like a child her bed time story. interrupted by the waitress, it was nearly her job so she does not get irritated.
"I would love a pron star please" she says, before the waitress looks to ari. a childish grin replaces her softer smile, simply happy to see a familiar face that does not haunt her nights.
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Emma's lotus -
Watson -
Emma's Pendant -
Emma's tattoo -