Alright, so I didn't know what a Doberman was. I never exactly had a pet growing up and to be honest animals aren't my favourite thing. I don't mind them when they come with a side of chips and a salad I suppose, but in a living, breathing, moving form I honestly have little idea of what I'm supposed to do with them. Her attempts to describe a Doberman met with little more then a blank stare. It was some sort of dog, evidently, my head nodding as if I understood, happy enough to let the topic slide and focus on the far more relevant one of her having been bitten or licked or something by a vampire along with this dog. It was bad enough she was out at night at all, let alone being assaulted by two different creatures, her attempts to explain the vampire had 'only' wanted some blood as if he was only asking for directions saw my features shift slightly. I was good at controlling some of my emotions, after all, I was good ate pretending I wasn't bothered, that things didn't matter and yet other emotions I was less practiced at concealing if only because, well, Id never really had them before. This being one of them. I don't know if its fear or worry or annoyance- not at her of course, at this vampire who licked and her apparently threw a net over her. Kat talking as if this was a normal nightly encounter. Maybe I was just destined to spend the rest of my life worrying about her every night. Maybe this is why parents stay up all night worrying about their children. You worry about the people you love.

I find my eyes rolling, if only slightly, at her assurance that she'd stabbed the vampire and he'd run off. Oh good. Surely he won't be mad about that and come looking or anything. Then again, I suppose if he did I had every faith Kat would send him on his way again while I hid behind the couch. A sigh of sorts fell from my lips at last. Maybe I really did need to learn at least a little bit more about combat- maybe I should show Kat what Chizue gave me and yet really I wasn't sure yet how she might repond to my having spent so much time with another woman while she was away. Maybe it was better we eased into that one. Besides, this as about her, not me. At least it was until I decided to say those words and the world seemed to come crashing down around the both of us as I handed her that first aid kit. Of all the things I expected it hadn't been her silence. I think I'd even have taken her laughing at me over that. My own mind struggling wildly to simply think of something, anything to do or so, my thoughts racing faster then I ever remembered them racing and yet coming up with nothing all the same.

Why had I said it? Why had I said anything at all? It was true, I suppose, I'd known it for a damn long time too and yet knowing it and saying it was something else entirely. I guess I'd always planned to say it, one day, at the right moment when I thought maybe she'd say it back. That's what you do after all isn't it? Your supposed to say it back right? I've never done this before, this sort of emotion distinctly out of my depth and im entirely sure it showed as I managed to make my way out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, snatching my phone from the bedside table if only to give my mind and my hands something to do other then fret over what I'd just done. Relationships were never my thing. I never had to worry about saying I love you to a one night stand. After all- I didn't, they knew it as well as I did. There was no obligation in that, no responsibility I suppose. It was simple. Easy. Uncomplicated and yet things had just come so naturally with Kat. As if they'd always supposed to be that way. Being monogamous, well, that was easy when you finally met the right person and didn't go and ruin it by saying ridiculous things. Worse than though was that she'd said nothing at all. If she didn't love me back then.....why the hell were we doing this?

My mind was very near on autopilot as I searched through my phone, accessing the Hunter database to read out to her the treatment for a vampire bite, or, well, a vampire lick I suppose. I could hear her moving behind the door, assuring myself she hadn't fainted or anything near so ridiculous and yet in all those months we'd been together this was the only truly awkward silence we'd ever had. I suppose though I was glad I didn't need to watch her stitch her skin back together, the thought alone entirely more distressing then I'd anticipated. So I leaned back against the door instead, waiting for a time I deemed long enough to stich an arm back together before asking her if she was done and moving to open that door once more. It was the first time, I think, that I'd ever found something else in a room to look at other then her. The blue-gold of my gaze momentarily eyeing my ruined rug before briefly resting upon her newly sutured arm before moving to stare at anything other than Kat herself. It was only her voice, the start of her saying something, that saw my gaze meet her own with something almost akin to hope before that sentence seemed to stutter and fail, one hand lifting to run through the golden brown of my hair in some attempt to find something to say. Maybe I could just brush it off, forget about it, maybe I didn't need to hear it at all.

Whatever I'd been about to say was cut off by Kat rather suddenly colliding with me at force, her arms wrapping suddenly around my neck as I simply stood in some level of momentary shock before at last lifting my arms to embrace her in turn. Holding her against me all the same as a crooked grin of sorts managed to find its way to my lips at last. Maybe this wasn't exactly the words I wanted to hear and I certainly wasn't forgetting about them but this was something and for now maybe that something would have to be enough. Maybe there was hope for us still.

"Don't worry about it, Kat. I get it. I can wait. It is true though. I meant it, you know that right?"

My words were little more than a whisper against her skin, assuring her I meant them even despite how accidently I'd said them. God how I hated this....vulnerable feeling, how easy it was to get hurt. I dismissed the thoughts for now, stepping back to meet her gaze for just a moment and make sure she understood. Another sigh at last drawn from my lips. I could wait. I could. I think. Maybe it wasn't ideal but at least she hadn't walked straight out of the door and walked off into the night. We were just at different places I suppose. Hell, I hadn't known I was at that place. It surprised even me and maybe...that was ok. At least it doesn't seem relationship ending. I paused, glancing down at my phone again.

"Well it's nearly five in the morning, we might as well have breakfast. Unless of course you'd like to have a bath and finish cleaning up? I would be entirely willing to help."

A heard the tease in my own words, seeking to return us both back to something we knew.

k o h l
so you want to play with magic?