so why'd you have to rain on my parade?

       

I'm shaking my head. I'm locking the gates.

It took everything Samantha had to not visibly squirm at the clear tension in the room between the two fae. Even when they had first met, they'd never had this... formality between them. Their relationship had always been playful, affectionate, and loving in the way that best friends really were with each other. She'd drawn out so much from the ancient Fae King, and for a moment, Samantha was truly fearful they would never get back to their relaxed state. She knew that it was her own doing that pushed them to this point, and yet that was why she was here, was it not? Here to repair the damage that she'd done in pushing Dorian away and disappearing with nothing but a note as an explanation. Samantha was well aware of those emotions that so assaulted the Monarch across from her, and yet his features remained as calm and poised as his position dictated. Briefly, Samantha considered reminding him that she knew exactly how he was feeling and that he could be himself with her, and yet Samantha was sure that wouldn't help the situation at hand. Instead, she remained still until Dorian asked her exactly what she was doing there.

The words about how much she so missed him tumbled out of her mouth then, and those words seemed to fracture the wall that existed between them. The fae moved to close the distance between them, and for a moment she considered what it would be like to embrace him. But then his posture stiffened just enough to be noticeable, and Samantha paused just out of his reach. She was aware, then, of Dorian's attempt at talking, but the words tumbled out of her as if they would be lost if she stopped to consider them. She owed him so many explanations for her behavior and sudden absence. The words escaped with such force and volume, and truthfully she was surprised he didn't correct her for her lack of manners.

With a quick clear of her throat, Samantha pushed herself forward in her apology, finally coming to an abrupt end. Her emotions seemed particularly raw then. She felt awfully exposed with her hands at her side and Dorian's silence as she asked for that forgiveness and continued friendship. She took in a small breath as she focused on his emotions and the way she couldn't quite pin down how he felt. So many emotions seemed to flash around him and it was nearly impossible for the empath to pick just one. She longed to reach out and touch him, if only for her power to access his thoughts. The silence between them was torture!

And yet, Dorian didn't seem content to make her wait too long for the response to her request, and at the sound of his voice, the red-head found herself glancing up to meet his gaze. His first words were nothing that she didn't feel. She had left in the wrong way, and she knew that Dorian had still needed her. She had told herself back then that he was better off without her. After all, on those nights before she left she barely got out of bed, as she was so plagued with grief. She'd assured herself that Dorian would be in the capable hands of his boyfriend and that all would be okay. His assurance that it had been quite the opposite tugged at her heart, though she struggled to maintain a neutral expression on her features as he spoke.

His silver-eyed gaze seemed to pierce right through her, and the ex-Queen fought the urge to squirm. His reassurance that Sebastian had, in fact, been there to assist him allowed the Fae Queen to let out a breath, clearly relieved that he hadn't been entirely alone in the world without her. But it was his assurance that though he agreed she left in the wrong way, he hardly faulted her for her departure. The already emotional girl couldn't help the way tears stung at her eyes at his admittance that he had missed her as well. Truly, she'd almost anticipated for him to turn her away, though that was not Dorian's nature in the slightest.

"I hated leaving you," Samantha admitted. "I was just so sad. I felt like I had ruined everything. I felt weak and scared and paranoid, and I just..." She waved it off, unable to continue to explain how she had felt. Dorian's faint smile was enough to draw a small smile from her own lips, and she simply nodded as a means of dismissing the unpleasant thoughts that had plagued her. His forgiveness was a treasure, and how she yearned to explain to him that she would never leave his side like that again. She couldn't promise an eternity in Sacrosanct, but she would promise to never leave his life. But those words were kept inside the fae by the mention of Sebastian.

"I know," Samantha responded. "I was in Chicago and I saw your wedding pictures on a magazine. It looked amazing." Then, she had felt a stab of pain at not being a part of it even though that was her own choice. Now, she was simply happy that Dorian was still so happy with his husband. "Dorian, I can't apologize enough for how I acted towards Sebastian. I... It's no excuse, but I was so caught up in my own fear that I couldn't see past an incident that was entirely forgivable." That was true, at least. Samantha was entirely assured that Sebastian had never meant to harm her that horrible night in the forest, and that he would never do so again.

"Dorian, I'm just happy that you're happy. If Sebastian is the one for you, as he clearly is, I have no quarrels with him. I hope, truly, that he'll be willing to give me another opportunity to be in his life." Her words were sincere, the girl entirely willing to befriend the vampire that had won over her friend's heart. She could only hope that Sebastian would be equally willing to befriend the fae woman. However, Samantha hardly had time to dwell on that before the next words were out of Dorian's lips, and those were words that entirely took her off guard. The girl made a surprised sound similar to a choking noise, her eyes trained on the Fae King in front of her.

"Family? You and Aiden are..." She shook her head, trying to find some way that she had misheard him, though she knew she hadn't. "I... I would like an explanation for that." She said, reaching up to push her hair behind her ear if only to steady herself. "I... I have no problems with Aiden. I left town because I thought he was dead and that I was responsible for a great deal of what happened. I..." Samantha paused, closing her eyes as she steadied herself. She had loved Aiden. She still loved Aiden, and yet she was unsure exactly what the future would hold for that relationship, if anything at all.

"Of course I'm okay with all of this," Samantha assured him. "Though the Aiden part might make me a bit nervous. I hope... that the two of us can be friends or..." More than friends, she finished mentally. "I care a great deal for him. You... you knew how much I loved him when I was here. His death changed me a lot, and I came back to find out everything I thought I knew isn't quite true."

"I missed you though. I know that part is true." Samantha sighed gently, looking up at Dorian. "Do you think you could just hug me already?" She asked, holding her arms out gently.
       

this is why we can't have nice things

       

Samantha Cassidy