William Holloway

I'm a devil in disguise

William's head was killing him.

And yet, somehow, that was the very least of his worries.

How many times in the past few years had he woken up exactly this same way? His head pounding - it seemed like knocking him unconscious was the only true way to insure that he would truly stop once he made his total descent down the rabbit hole. His wrists always ended up bound behind his back with his shoulders burning from the constant pull. The continued forced use of his powers made them easier to call to him than they'd ever been before, and as a result, it seemed that his madness was quicker to take him. And William knew - both by the way he felt after and the coaching he'd received at the hands of the council - that when he slipped into that state he was nearly unstoppable. After all, his blades could penetrate anything they touched, something the Hunter considered more of a curse than a blessing. He'd thought waking up in that cold cell day after day was the worst thing about using his powers. But somehow, waking up in her home was a thousand times worse. Knowing that Vhalla had seen him in that state... that he might have harmed her...

It was almost too much to handle.

As William fought to stay conscious and stay upright, his gaze scanned the destruction of her home. God, what had he done? Everything was soaking wet and ruined, there was a deep gauge in the polished wooden floor - no doubt from his blades - and, worst of all, the bruise that formed on the temple of Vhalla's form. His line of questioning is directed immediately to her, and the man was almost taken aback at the furrow of her brow. How badly, exactly, had their conversation gone the night before? What had happened to set off the worst version of himself on her? Her silence filled William with more and more questions, and yet he didn't speak to fill the empty air, merely waited for her to respond. William was certainly not unaware of the way she winced at her own touch, nor the gentle way she moved her own body. He'd hurt her. He'd hurt her in the very way he'd spent the last few years fearing he would. The way that they told him he would hurt everything he loved.

Despite her insistence that it was nothing to worry about, William was positive it was everything he had to worry about. His gaze dropped to his lap, something else overtaking the man now. It wasn't madness, not this time. It was grief, shame, horror. God, how he wished he had simply died in that alleyway in London. It had to be better than an eternity of this. Her words pierced the silence once more, and reluctantly, William lifted his head to look at her. His dark eyes settled on her, the self-loathing clear on his features. He didn't speak, just stared obediently as he waited for her to speak. After the destruction that he'd caused, the very least he could do was be quiet and obedient.

Her first question to him took him by surprise, and quickly William nodded, flexing his fingers just slightly. "I'm fine," He said softly. His tone of voice was back to the soft-spoken gentleman that he'd always been with her, no hint of anger or irritation in his words. Truly, he cared little about the state of his own body. What mattered was her and if she was okay. William didn't point out that, by now, he was used to waking up restrained and the tightness that accompanied it in his shoulders. In fact, he was so used to it that waking up without it felt foreign. "I'm fine," He repeated, this time more to himself than to her. He was fine. He would be fine.

William was well aware of exactly how tired the girl was simply by her posture, and the tone of her voice only drove that point home. Truly, he was surprised that he had any options at all, but he didn't let that show on his features. He merely nodded as she spoke, patiently listening to the words that were offered to him. At the mention of the burns, the sensation seemed to erupt on his skin. The zip ties dug uncomfortably into his burned skin, and yet he still didn't move or show his own discomfort. Will was hardly given a chance to speak before she continued, threatening what would happen to him if he lost himself once more. In another situation, Will might have smiled at the statement. It was so much like the Vhalla he knew so well, the one that he'd spent so long longing for. And yet, there was no humor in the threat, nothing but grim seriousness between them both.

William had just opened his mouth to reply to her when she shifted, that annoyed sound escaping her lips bringing his attention down to the light colored shirt that was rapidly being stained with a deep red hue. "Vha-" He began, though his thoughts were cut off once more as she lifted the shirt and the Dark Hunter was able to see the damage he'd inflicted upon the woman he loved for the first time. Even from his angle, William could see the way the wound etched up her side, and he knew his own power well enough to know that he had done that. Those wretched blades had carved that line down her skin. William remained entirely stiff and silent as she worked to place the gauze in its place, though his eyes certainly betrayed him with the tears that threatened that welled and threatened to spill. If he had done that to her, what was to stop him from doing that to Sebastian? Or to anyone else he cared about?

If you decide to come after me again I'll...

Her words echoed in his head now, causing a shiver to go down his spine. What was to say he wouldn't? What had set him off last night? He couldn't imagine her saying anything that would have forced this kind of reaction from him. He loved her. And he loved Sebastian. And yet neither of them were safe from the monster that he was. As much as he loved them, he could not insure their safety.

"Kill me." William said without hesitation, those brown eyes finally lifting back up to meet her icy blue ones. "If it happens again, I want you to kill me. I can't control it, and I can't keep you safe. If it happens again, end it all."