madhavi

Who do you call to fix a broken heart, Tetradore?

No, she thinks. The word echoes in her mind with a resignation she'd accepted most of her life. Relationships of all sorts were (as expected) hard to keep when your life was that of being constantly on the move; destined to be a ghost. Country to country. State to state. City to city and everything in between. Her Uncle was the only person she spoke to on the phone these days and fleetingly at that. But even if he knew... would it make a difference? The result would be the same. Tetradore would leave this apartment at some point... and then she would, too. And Madhavi knew there would be no 'accidentally' coming back this time. Not ever.

And that hurt more than everything here put together.

She knew he didn't deserve this but in that brief moment of realization, of heartache and fear, of loss she didn't want to experience again, Madhavi simply couldn't help herself. The words blurted out faster than she could stop them and yet everything still felt like it was running in slow motion. How could everything be so clear and fuzzy at the same time? It felt like she was talking underwater, like she was reciting a far away dream, like she was explaining a déjà vu that no could ever truly understand.

But maybe... maybe he could. Maybe he could.

"Those were the first words I ever said to you," the snow leopard reminds him in a single breath, quick-like, as if she was suddenly winded. Her own green eyes, teary as they were, lifted to seek his own. They were big and filled with so, so much emotion, a small tsunami of mixed feelings that simply couldn't sort themselves out.

While the apartment had been quiet before, a hush seemed to fall over the space that settled it in silence, and in that little moment of true confession, Madhavi gives him peace. She doesn't speak while she waits but does search his eyes, his face, as if waiting for a reaction that would change... everything. Because it would. And she didn't know how ready she truly was for that.

It's only when she runs out of breath to hold that she speaks again, nervous. Frightened. What had she just done...? It wasn't fair to him. She hadn't come to disrupt his life, to face his wrath or trudge up memories of the past. They hadn't all been beautiful... but there had been some moments that she still held on to tightly; the kind that held a special place in her heart, ones that were revisited when she needed them the most. Madhavi couldn't be certain the panther felt the same but... there was no taking it back now. She'd take whatever he gave her and relish in the fact that, should this really be the end, she would not have truly disappeared on him a second time without some kind of goodbye. He deserved that.

He deserved that.

"It's... okay if you don't remember." The words are spoken to him in an earnest whisper, sad, but genuine. Honest. She wouldn't blame him if he didn't.

Her destiny may have always been to be forgotten but she would never forget.

But since she'd already crossed the line and part of her that felt poorly for his discomfort, Madhavi tries to amend by pulling herself together at least a little bit. A sleeve comes to gently wipe at her eyes and a soft 'sorry' is mumbled partially over the fabric as it passes by her lips. "Madi. My name is Madi."