It was best for her to keep the past in the past. Thinking about everything that had happened after the night she had simply lost it, it brought nothing but terrible snippets of bad recollections. Each one more haunting than the other. For such a kind and broken soul she was unaware of just how strong or just how dangerous she could become. To see scraps of terror in her victims eyes was enough to leave her shaking terribly trying everything she could to repress such things. Always she knew she had done wrong that night, even if her pack deserved it. With Lucian poking around it was causing the Raven to feel as if she were on trial. She did not wish to continue this conversation. Rather, she wanted to get away from the small table and flee the entire scene, running towards nothing, but simply wanting to get away. Running always made the images distort and allow her a chance to have some sort of freedom. There were just some things that were best left alone and the faster Lucian could learn such things, the better this tense relationship would be. The idea of working for him was fine, but if he was going to continue to push her in a direction she did not wish to go, she had no other choice but to push him back. He was not her Alpha and she did not belong to him. She was an employee and he was her new employer that would be the only ties he could claim to her. Shaking her head stubbornly she would reply without missing a beat, her soft words slow and steady, her knee twitching up and down, but that voice remained ever so calm.

"But there is such a thing as a diseased Were-Creature. A Were-Creature that can be a danger to themselves and to others. When you change you can tell friend from foe, but when I am feral while changed, I cannot tell the difference."

Blue- grey eyes narrowed when his upper torso leaned forward, over the small table, his hand outstretched reaching for her mutilated face. Pink lips pulled back to reveal her pearly whites as a small humanoid growl came from her throat, giving him a warning. The last time someone touched her face they had caused those four scars to permanently disfigure and ruin any trace of youth on her façade. Trust was such a difficult thing for her to place in others and to receive from others as well. She would pull her head back and sit up sharply in her chair, her lithe frame rigid. She would not permit him to touch her face, but her head would lift upwards to see his own stern features, noticing how he attempted to make himself appear softer. Even though he was trying to reach her it would be in vain. Gone were the possibilities that she could be anything different. Her pack had done well in its ability to break her mental psyche- she could never become anything good. She sealed her fate that one bloody night. Calmly she took another sip of her tea before setting the half-empty cup down. Her shoulders shrugging in defeat explaining gently that his efforts were not going to work.

"Because there is no possibility. I know what I am, and I didn't choose to be this way. Life isn't fair, Lucian."

Whatever he thought he saw in her he could simply just let it go. She knew what she was and what she could become. She could be a danger to him and anyone else. All she could do was be careful and when the time came she would simply runaway, go somewhere where she couldn't harm anyone. It was the only thing she could do. The idea that she could have some sort of guide was a laughable matter. In all the books she read, in all the articles she read online nothing spoke of guides or treatments for anyone that suffered this particular handicap. The only way to handle such things was by locking the tortured soul up, but nowhere in the footprints notes did it say to abuse them. His ominous threat that she would do something far worse allowed a wry all-knowing grin to reach her lips, but not her eyes. She killed her Mother. She killed her pack- what far worse thing could she do now?


"That day has already come and passed, but it will happen again. Nothing can fix this Lucian."

Grabbing her cup of tea, she would finish it off before setting it down gently. She was trying to keep herself in control and contained. Her mind flashing, those dark memories resurfacing and it was best if she kept herself calm in these moments. The urge to simply change and run was sounding like the perfect plan to forget all of this, but she had somewhere else to be- in his warehouse. Scooting the chair back swiftly she would stand shoving her hands into the pockets of her hoodie, looking down at him and giving him a polite smile that just didn't reach her bleak eyes.

"Thank you for the tea and the job."

With that being said she would turn sharply on her heel in the direction of his warehouse. If she could not run, perhaps these mundane tasks could keep her mind off things and make her feel somewhat better.

I'd Rather Feel Pain Then Nothing At All

Raven