I will
in spite of the ache
"That's...tough." Tough was an understatement. His life had been less than easy and he had to work for everything. Nothing came easy for the wear. Even in the rough patch he found himself in, the one person he could lean on wasn't his anymore. He was angry at the world, angry at life, and angry with everyone who was breathing around him. It had been a long time since he had been in such a terrible funk. Unfortunately for Carolina, she had caught him on wone of his many bad days. Perhaps if she had come upon him a year ago, his answers might be different. He might have given her a friendly hello and perhaps joined her on the ark. But a year had changed him. A year had nearly destroyed him.
But despite his harsh remarks about his hobbies (or lack thereof) and his dislike of the ark AND his dislike of Tetra, she didn't question him. It was strange, really. Most people were so quick to jump to the why that they didn't care about the how. Most of his life wasn't a secret so how in the world had she had been working within The Ark and didn't know a damn thing about him was a question he would have to ask another day. It puzzled him. Perhaps his reactions were baiting. Perhaps they were both baiting each other and both avoiding the elephant in the room. If they were both fish swimming around hooks with cheese or hotdogs or worms, whoever was on the other end of the fishing pole would see neither of them today.
He asked if the pack had told her anything about him and she replied that they hadn't. So why was his secret suddenly sacred? It really wasn't a secret, not really. It was just the life he had been dealt. "I didn't ask to be a were..." It was a small admission of truth, something that she might be able to make an inference on. He and Tetra's relationship was different then everyone else's. They weren't friends or partners. He was his sire and there was more to it than that.
Perhaps the sire and kitten relationship was the root of all his problems. If he hadn't been bitten by Tetra in the alleyway, he wouldn't have shifted alone and nearly killed the one person he loved more than anything. That person would still be lover and life would be happy. But life didn't ask Henry what he wanted. Life just took and took and took. And quite frankly, Henry was fucking sick of it.
He sighed. There was a lot to him that many didn't understand. Hell, there was a lot to himself that even he didn't quite understand. "My life has not been rainbows and unicorns. It's been bloodshed and darkness." It was hard to look at his life and be happy. What once made him happy wasn't available to him anymore. The activities that brought him joy no longer did. Some days, Henry wondered why he kept living in misery.
When left with her stereotypical parting words, Henry chuckled lightly. So common. So overstated. "Not even God himself could help me." Although Henry didn't believe in higher powers, some people did. Some people would pray and ask God to make him smile again. But Henry didn't believe in God. Surely a God who was loving and just would have allowed such shit to happen to him.
He gathered up his fishing pole, intent to not sit another moment on this dock trying to catch fish that didn't seem to want to be caught. Eyes looked up at the ark and he sighed. He didn't want to go back in there. But he had to put away this stuff he had bought. Where they were going to store it was a mystery. Maybe someone would find fishing useful and enjoyable. Henry hated it.
Henry Tudor
I will rise a thousands times again