![]() breathed so deep i thought i'd drown tag: isolt ☆ outfit: ♥ notes: yay! | Dread is often a passenger in my mind as of late; the fear of stepping out into reality and accepting the fact that things have changed. I have changed. Entirely too much so for my own good. Flashbacks of the horrifically momentous night often take hold of my dreams in the middle of the night and even the dark solace of my apartment no longer provides peace of mind. What it is that I will do with this.. problem I do not know, but I will find a solution even if it will only hold for temporarily. I walk with my eyes averted from the judgemental stares of those who pass me - the people who hate on account of preconceived notions created from their views on the way in which I appeared. To some, I was nothing more than a girl who tried too hard to feel different, but in reality I only longed to feel anything at all. Anything besides this constant consternation, this endless terror of facing the truth that lies just outside of my basic abode. But I've come out into this world looking for answers, for anything that will bring my mind to become still, or perhaps even for a distraction that may only last a mere moment in time. I find my final destination, green eyes rising to meet the sign that claimed its place above the entrance, this quiet and comfortable refuge that can certainly provide many a thing to draw my mind from the dark recesses it has succumbed to in recent passings. A single, delicate hand reaches for the door only to have it swung open as a stranger exits hastily, and for a moment I am paralyzed before I can catch the door and enter into the shoppe. It was never my forte to be so gracious and comfortable in a social environment and yet in this sacred place, I felt at ease the moment my feet breached the entryway. I do not hesitate at the doorway much longer and my eyes are readily scouring the walls for something to interest me as I slowly walk along them. I conjure up tales and histories for each piece I find, always keeping those frightening realities at bay with distant fantasies in my mind. |