damon marcello

He felt like an outsider looking in, like his world was crashing down around him and there was nothing he could do about it but sit there and watch. He couldn't recall ever feeling so helpless and it gnawed at him from the inside out. Like his wife, his own eyes couldn't seem to leave the huddle of nurses around their daughter, an urgency to do something to save her coiling like a snake deep inside him, aching for release. And yet his feet were frozen to the spot cause he knew deep down inside there was nothing he could do to save her, and it left him paralyzed. He barely felt Isolt's small hand within his own. He didn't know he was rubbing circles on her hand with his thumb idly, something for restless fingers to do while he simply stared holes in the back of the nurses' heads. His jaw was clenched so tight he felt his teeth might shatter at any moment. As Isolt's head lowered to the bar, his other hand came up to gently caress her fiery tresses, stroking her absently but his gaze never left that huddle.

He could feel her exhaustion like it was his own, though he would never claim to understand it. When the quiet hit, Damon paused for only a moment, doubt furrowing his brows as he lifted his foot to take a step in that direction. But he paused when the blood curdling cries filled the room, defeat and hope lost darkening his gaze as he set his foot right back down where it was. He felt Isolt's hand drop and for a moment, his heart dropped with it. His head snapped around, wide gaze looking to her expression because he feared the worst in that moment, wondering if he had not only lost a child today but the love of his existence as well. His whole body stiffened and only when he saw the still-blinking crystalline blue of her gaze did he feel his body relax in acceptance. Maybe it was heartless of him, but in that moment, he knew he would be okay. As long as he had Isolt, he would make it through this. He would suffer for a little while and go through it with her because she deserved that, but he would survive because she had not been taken from him.

The doctor's sudden voice was like chalk screeching on a chalkboard with everything else going on and Damon stiffened again in response. But Isolt's cool reply was a soothing balm to heavy burns, making his body relax again because he knew in that moment that she had accepted the child's fate. It wouldn't make it hurt any less, but at least he knew she would be strong in this moment and move on as far as she could. Maybe she would let him help her the rest of the way. As she suddenly lifted herself from the hospital bed, he scowled in worry and offered his arm and shoulder for support if she needed it. He couldn't let her do this alone so he stayed with her every step of the way. He didn't dare look at any of the nurses who side stepped away as they got close to the cradle for fear that his emotions would run wild and he'd end up bathing this room in blood simply out of impulse. It was his history when bad things happen to him, after all.

But today had to be different, because he had Isolt and she needed him now more than ever. He stood at her side as she stopped over the cradle and his gaze followed her own to the innocent soul strapped up in wires and hoses. She was a beautiful sight even so. He swallowed, unable to move. All he could do was watch as Isolt reached in to unclip the baby from everything before gently lifting her to her chest. As she snuggled the child against her, he felt his heart break all over again, knowing that this was taken from her and they would never get another like it. Isolt would never get to have a baby naturally, to be a mother and hold it to her like this. She would never get to promise protection to a child for the rest of its life in those first aching moments in the hospital. She would never have a child by blood because her life was taken from her. And in that moment, Damon hated her Maker with every inch of his being.

But it was all a brief distraction because when Isolt moved back to the bed, he moved with her, like an ever present shadow. When she climbed back into bed and offered him space, he didn't hesitate to follow her onto the mattress, snuggling against her slender curves to cradle both her and the baby in his arms. He let her have as long as she wanted, listening to the peaceful sounds of the baby. When she suddenly handed her to him though, his eyes went wide in surprise. He would have said no or faltered had anyone else asked him to hold a baby but he could never turn down Isolt. When his gaze met her own, he knew he needed to do this. He needed to be there for her in every ounce of the word, so he swallowed his own feelings and he took the baby, cradling it to his chest like it was made of glass. He gazed at the child for a moment but it was soon pulled back to Isolt's blissful features like a magnet. She was the one who mesmerized him, even with this perfection in his arms. He listened as she spoke to the baby girl, naming her Lillian and he smiled, a single tear of blood running down his own cheek then. Because he knew what it was to name something you're going to lose.