The simper that danced across my lips came easily enough in the wake of her words, kat evidently at least attempting to make amends for her early words and yet, like I said, I hardly blame her. Maybe I am to...understanding, maybe I should get mad or bite back and yet it just isn't the way I am. Truly few things in life actually make me mad, aside from people who wear slippers while shopping, or denim on denim or those cleaning products that claim to get out any stain and yet never manage to live up to this claim. As far as a girl getting jealous? Well- I am at least a little flattered and really that is something of a compliment in itself even if this apparent jealousy never truly seems to actually spur her into action. I'm not complaining, not really, I don't want just sex from her although I am entirely assured that will forever be a goal I aim to achieve. I've wanted more from her for a long time, a damn long time and I suppose I just...don't know how to get it. Surprising I know and yet relationships are so far out of my skill set that I just don't know how to handle them. I'd tried and hell, maybe I'd done it wrong, Kat having freaked out rather then willingly accepted my offer and yet while part of me was entirely assured she was lying, that she really did want more- another part of me believed that maybe she simply didn't. How long did I really have to wait for her to make up her mind? Maybe it didn't matter. There isn't anyone else, there hasn't been for a damn long time ad that in itself is utterly terrifying and yet oddly...calming all at once. For the first time in my life I know exactly who and what I want and yet- she seems determined to remain forever unobtainable, maybe I don't even mind that challenge.

"You know me far too well, although I wouldn't say no to vodka myself."

In fact, the last experience Kat and I had been given to have involving vodka had proven to be rather....remarkable. If not utterly headache inducing and yet this seemed entirely the sort of night I was willing to go back on my vow of never again to that drink. Dropping the woman off at the police station was easy enough, my form readily reclining back against the nearest lamp pole as Kat actually attempted an apology, one the was met with the faintest of kisses from myself that she returned with far to much energy to keep my thoughts entirely as aligned as they should have been. Honestly it is almost as if she does it on purpose, Kat by fat the most frustrating woman I have ever met. I simply...have no idea what she wants and while a part of myself rather adores this mental challenge another side...does not. Changing the topic to my own power was perhaps a fortunate thing, else I may well have been inclined to kiss her again, if only for the eternal satisfaction that brought me and yet the mention of one of my more recent incidents rather quickly extinguished any more romantic feelings I may have had, a sigh drawn from my lips once more. In truth....I almost.....resented the power I had. Maybe it was useful, or could be and yet the vast majority of the time I simply ended up with attention I didn't want. I mean- I know I'm pretty and rather alluring and et alluring large homosexual black men from bars is a living nightmare and perhaps the only time I have ever actually physically run. Kat would almost have been proud to know I was capable of a one mile sprint when I wanted to be- in fact it has surprised even me. Maybe this body was....better then my human one although I still refused to admit it, the softer tone she spoke in drawing my gaze upward once more, that brief moment of argument between us seeming to have passed as I merely moved to shift the topic again to something far less pleasant, her reply earning an actual laugh and I grinned softly, golden brown hair falling against my eyes.

"You're worried about the price of a plastic tree?"

I may have managed a look of actual disbelief. I mean, I knew she was a minimalist hence my suggestion of a temporary installation as opposed to a thirty foot fir tree and yet I had seen her bank balance, a plastic tree was hardly going to blow her budget, or mine, shoulders rolling in an easy shrug all the same.

"Well- I could stand a stick in a pot of soil, would you prefer that?"

My lip quirked slightly upward at this easy jest, moving to lean off the lamp pole all the same, waiting for Kat to follow before beginning to head back towards the car, adjusting the length of my stride to actually let her walk beside me, attempting to ignore the bite the winter wind had against my skin without my jacket. Hmm- I really did like that one. Reaching the car was easy enough, hitting the unlock button for the doors, easily opening the passenger side for Kat as I passed before moving to slide onto the driver's seat, almost sighing with relief as the car revved so satisfyingly into life and the heat readily came on. God I hope I don't have any blood on me anywhere. It hardly matters, I'll be scrubbing for a week anyway, the very thought seeming to make me feel suddenly tired, one hand moving to let go of the steering wheel- resting beside me for a moment before flicking the 'lock' button on the control panel and locking the car doors. Honestly Kat would have to forgive me for it later and yet I am hardly foolish enough not to have learned from the first time that when it comes to certain things- given the chance, Kat prefers to show off her jogging skills and really while I don't mind the view from behind I truly had no desire to have to chase her though the streets tonight- the car easily rolling to a stop at the first set of traffic lights, the blue gold of my gaze turned onto her now.

"Kat- I am only going to ask you this once and if you don't want to talk about it, then fine, we don't have to, I don't mind waiting...I suppose, but-"

I shifted slightly, attempting to find the word I wanted, words that normally come so easily and so readily as my attention shifted to the read again, fingers drumming on the steering wheel, content enough Kat shouldn't be able to escape and locked and moving car- though I wouldn't put it past her.

"I...spend every single night awake when you go out Hunting, do you actually know that? I have nearly walked a hole in your bedroom floor and my own from the amount of time I have spent waiting for you to come home or ringing your place to actually make sure you made it back. I hate it when you Hunt but I suppose I....understand you're not going to stop. It's what you do- I get it."

My free hand lifted to run back through my hair once more, perhaps giving way to the discomfort I actually felt in this conversation. Serious....is not really my style.

"I don't want you to think I need to keep an eye on you because god knows it's the other way around and I'm not asking you to move in with me although at this point that really would be practical considering we almost live together as it is- I'm just asking you how much longer you want me to wait before you....decide what you want? If you don't want to be anything more then....this....friends...whatever it is you want to call us then that's fine- but I just need to know and I don't know why the hell I need to know I just do. What...do you want me to be for you?"

Because god knows at some point- she needs to decide.

"If you don't want to do this then that's fine- just tell me. It just....plays on my mind, that's all."






k o h l
so you want to play with magic?