She was unused to someone being so inquisitive and invasive about her past. Always she kept her responses curt and final, not wanting to elaborate when there was no need to. Always she believed the past was what defined you. After her accidents it became clear to her, a self-realization that she was not meant to be good for anyone or anything. She was nothing more than a burden and even though it took her awhile, she finally learned to accept it. Whatever spark of denial that was left within her it was snuffed out after years of torment and forced acceptance. With her pack dead and gone she thought it best if she continued to ignore what was done to her. All she wanted from her pack were the few items that she knew were treasured by her own, perhaps out of sentimental reasons. So far her Sister Pack had not come after her and there wasn't even a trace of evidence that they had been nearby. She was alone and she did not have to worry or watch behind her back. As promised they would leave her alone out of fear or pity she didn't know and she didn't even care. It eased her mind when she would go a few days without remembering or thinking about her past. Made things so much better. She could actually live in the comfort of her own home without having to worry about anything. The only time her mind began to flutter backwards, when those dark memories would return, would be the small signs. When she would look down at one of her numerous scars and trace it, remembering why, and what, it was made with. Looking in her reflection at the disfigured marks that permanently messed up her face. The clang of the lock on her gate, should she accidentally close it too fast to hear that loud clang that sounded so very similar to her own lock from her cage. Sometimes it was the faint smell of metallic-coppery blood that would drawl her into the depths of the abyss. Lucian was trying to uncover what she was attempting to keep hidden for her benefit, and for others, because the last thing she needed to do was fall back a few steps.

Her head was tilted downwards as she attempted to position herself in a more comfortable manner. Shoulders would tense as she brought her hands around her warm cup of tea. It was natural for her to fall in this particular stance, it had allowed her to be left alone by others. Listening to him pry only caused her to feel more discomfort at being forced to bring up a topic she had no intention of wanting to talk about. Each word he said only caused her to twitch as he continued to hit the hammer on the nail. He was right on most accounts, but he couldn't come up with a reason. Her foot twitched up and down, her knee bouncing and pounding underneath the table. Taking a sip of her drink, setting the mug down easily her voice held no emotion, her statement engraved in her mind by others to force her to accept and agree that everything they did- it was done for a reason.

"It was for my benefit. I'm feral minded."

It was not a shock that in their Were world that there would be certain members within their society that was cursed with this handicap. In fact, anyone diagnosed with this condition was always considered an outcast from a pack, and most of the time, these members were kicked out. To have a family member with this disease was nothing more than shame and embarrassment in their bloodline. Yet for her pack, to be a puppy of the Alphas, it brought not only dishonor, mortification, but failure as well. Some packs would kill off these members at a young age once it was discovered, because as they grew older their condition only got worse. It was her Mother that wanted to keep her, and it was her Mother that was the first one to be punished for her kindness. Whatever kindness he was offering her she was sure it would be taken away now that she admitted to her problem. As she continued to enjoy the rest of her tea she listened to his offers. The job and pay was generous, but as for the latter well, to her, it was too late. She knew what her place was in this world. To be silent and hide. If only so that others would continue to leave her alone. Alexis she trusted, but for how long the fox-girl would continue trusting her once she admitted to her disease she did not know. As for Tobi, well, he would hardly understand. At least she'd have one pal left in this world, even if it was a cat. Shrugging her shoulders her head would lift some, pulling some of her golden curls from her eyes.

"The job offer and pay is kind enough. As for what I am meant to be, I think it is best if we don't try to find out what that is."

I'd Rather Feel Pain Then Nothing At All

Raven