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I don't know why but I feel more comfortable in the parts of town like this where people look at you like you're a criminal and lock their doors, peeking at you from behind covered windows. The children are the only ones who still look like they feel safe. They giggle and play in the front yards while their parents stand warily on the front porch, eying anyone who so much as slows down on the sidewalk. It's almost comforting but then my pack was never like that. We didn't have much but we made do with what we had and we trusted everyone. Well, the rest of them did anyway. I couldn't trust anyone cause no one would stand up for me to my father. No one cared enough when he kicked my ribs in or broke my arm. No one did anything when he threw me into the wall and knocked me out. I couldn't trust anyone. I never could. I know that I'm in a bad part of town. This is where Lucian's shop is and where his pack now resides. I don't feel exactly threatened by the big wolf but I don't trust him either. How can I? He's male. Raven is the only one who understands. Nadya is kind to me but she's part of a pack, a pack of males and she trusts them utterly and completely. You can tell with just one look on her face. Tobi is not all bad, at least when there's something to distract him, like a football or jewelry. He really seems to have a thing for shiny stuff. I'm still not sure why he wants to trade it off for money when there's food to be had. Why would you steal anything other than what you need for survival? I stop outside of a small wooden house, watching the small family that I can see through the window, one of the few you can actually see through on this street. A mother and two boys sitting at a small dining room table. She puts the plates on the table and the boys look disappointed at the small share they each have. They must be hungry. I look down at the bag I have in my hand, the bag that houses the large pork roast I stole from the apartment building with Tobi not an hour again. I look back up at them. the pork roast could easily feed me for a week, if not more and yet I can't get their sad faces out of my head. Sighing, I walk over to the door and put the bag down in front of the door. I give a small knock on the wood before I walk back to the sidewalk and keep walking. I don't want to look back. I don't want to see the surprised face of the mother as she opens the door and eyes the bag that it's a bomb about to go off. I don't want to see her sudden shock and excitement as she warily opens it up and sees what's inside and I don't want to hear the eager screams of the children as they dance around her while she cooks their new meal. I keep walking. Only when I get a few streets away do I find a wall to sulk against and slowly drag down to the ground. I'm teary eyed but I refuse to let the tears fall, not this time. I don't miss my father. I don't think I ever will, but the idea of family? That, I can miss. Even though they didn't care, the pack was still family. The dark of night slowly fills the sky but still I stay where I am, not sure what to do next. Not sure where to go from here. ![]() |