There were many times when Raven had to make a decision without anyone's input or assistance. She was so used to having to fend for herself or think about which situation would be better for her. It was selfish, but it was a survival mechanism. There was hardly ever a reason in when she was younger that she had to think 'what is good for the group' mentality. Her pack was perfectly fine without her, she had figured out, when she was going through her teenage years. During those troublesome times no event pushed her into seeing that maybe she should think about the well-being of others. The rough treatment she received only further cemented her belief that if she was going to get what she wanted then she needed to eliminate in sort of feeling or thought that led to the group-benefit mentality. Only when she was involved with the Nightshade pack did her thoughts change. Quickly she acclimated into the belief of 'will this benefit everyone.' Always she did what she could to benefit the pack's well-being, help the business grow, or provide any assistance to her closer friends. However, there were still some tendencies where she was a bit selfish, a trait that no one she was close to ever witnessed. At the beginning of her relationship with her spotted companion, Raven was going through the process of deciding if such a connection would be good in the long run. The lupine had a male that was attracted to her, how that was possible she still had no clue, but she was equally attracted to him as well. He was a strong candidate for mate material, even if he did contain some flaws, at the end of the day he was deemed suitable by her human and wolf half. One thing she had to consider was the idea of children.

At the time she was going through the process of accepting the fact he was having a child with another, and in those moments she questioned her own worth and value. Appearance wise she wasn't stunning or drop-dead gorgeous. In her opinion she looked acceptable, but those scars that ran across her face and all along her body, ruined any extra points of her value in appearance. She wasn't on par with his confidence level. Against his brutish, reckless, and egotistical behavior, she couldn't keep up, unlike Nadya. Raven was more reserved, cautious, and gentle in nature. Such qualities wouldn't pair up nicely with him. Within the pack at the time there was one Alpha, two Betas, and then her, which left her into understanding and knowing she was an Omega. And then there were the twins, evident that Nadya was healthy and capable of bearing children. Two WereCats could breed together, and she always thought that a Were-Species in the similar class would be able to have children. Canines and Felines could not mix and therefore could not produce. In nature it was necessary for a male to pass along his genes and she knew how close her mate was prone to his instincts, that it wouldn't take long for his cat-side to decide she wasn't worth sticking around. The lupine knew she wasn't healthy. The scars were apparent of that, but then there was her feral nature, and that wasn't something that should be carried on to the next generation. There were numerous factors to her that made it clear that her mate may not stick around with her any longer, not when he had better.

But when he had stated he wanted to stay with her, her thoughts wavered from accepting his proposal for a break up, and instead went towards the possibility that they could be something more. When he stated they were mates it further pushed the woman to not only accepting the idea that he would truly wish to stay with her, but also at the understanding a family may not be in the cards for them. Raven never imagined the possibility that she could be a Mother. After all she didn't really know how to be a good parent, not after the experiences she had. If she had a child of her own she was assured that somehow she would replicate the parenting and treatment she received and passed it onto her child. Such a terrible and violent treatment was truly unacceptable, and she had no interest in participating that way. Tobias already had his children, even if he was unable to see them as often as he should, with Nadya out of the pack. Instincts wise he settled that problem. The idea of having a family of her own seemed like a dream, but like all dreams, some do not come true. So, she made the decision of accepting this, the night his other half came out and proclaimed they would marry her one day. Because at the end of the day, she loved him more than anything, and it didn't matter if they had a child of their own or not. She loved him, and as long as they were together, nothing else truly mattered. She had made that decision for them, that they didn't need to have children to be a family, they were already one.

Standing there within the jewelry store the young woman's world was crashing down. Externally she appeared quite still, unnervingly still, but internally the woman was a wreck. All those thoughts of being a Mother or having a child of her own, locked deep away in an area she hardly ever wanted to visit, too painful, they were resurfacing at full force. As her fiancé explained that it would be difficult for the two of them to conceive, but saying the possibility of having a child was valid, was earth-shattering. His soft tenor voice seemed to fade and wash away as her inner voice began to shout in an incoherent chorus. Shouts that these were lies meant to calm her was there, but it was being overrun by stronger voices claiming he would never lie to them. This wasn't the place to digest her thoughts and apparent new information. All those years of such a desire and wish closed up, it was overwhelming her, as her mind because to figure out new possibilities. Coming up with the pros and cons of a child, let alone how she would even raise the child on her own. She had to distract Tobias and get her thoughts to recollect and focus on the matter at hand. Rings. They were here for rings, not talking about children. Asking him why he was wanting the two-toned ring allowed the two of them to refocus. Giving him a small smile she nodded in agreement with him. It was true his other half got mostly everything. It was fair that he was able to make an important decision as this, to know he was going to wear the ring he wanted, and do something her felt was right, giving him that ability to feel what it was like to be in charge, and live the way he wanted. Of course there was also the reason of needing a more muted ring, so it wouldn't distract his other half all the time.

"He is fascinated with items that shine, but I do like this ring. Its metal appears similar to my own. I'll have to teach him that the ring is important, and never to lose it. We'll see how that goes."

It didn't bother her at all that she would need to take the time to teach her deviant companion the symbolism and importance behind his wedding band. When he wished to take her out on a date, and thought it was to take her outside and offer her the fruit, she found it quite amusing and touching. After she explained to him what a date actually was, he seemed to have grasped the knowledge behind it. Their next few dates were quite exciting, each one a grand adventure, and memory to cherish. Unlike other males he actually listened to her. The man willing understand and in return react the proper way. It would probably take him awhile longer to get accustomed to wearing the ring and not lose it...hopefully. Yet she was most assured he would be perfectly fine with the ring. Of course she couldn't focus so much on thinking how she would teach his other half about the ring, not when he brought up the topic once again about their ability to have children. Once more her heart literally skipped a beat as she began to shake anxiously in place. Softly she questioned him again, wanting to be sure what he was saying was true. Though she could no longer speak about it, not when the store clerk came by. Pointing to the ring Tobias was interested in, she waited quietly for him to try it on, a small simper appeared as that dark and light metal fitted well on his finger. The ring didn't look too small nor too big. But before she could ask the store clerk a question she watched as Tobias requested for them to have a moment, sighing softly knowing they would not be talking about the ring. Seeing him place his hand on the case she nervously shifted her eyes to him, uncertain about this thoughts. Was he upset with her for not knowing? They weren't using protection so if he didn't want children, and felt like she was entrapping him...well that wasn't good. Nervously she grabbed her fingers, taking a step towards him so he wouldn't have to move from his spot, unsure with what he was going to say. Seeing his soft smile she couldn't help, but give him a smaller smile in return. Hearing her name she locked her blue-grey eyes to see his golden eyes, as he dropped the question. Freezing in place she grew silent, as she bit her lip. Attempting to speak her voice was strained, as she spoke quickly.

"Tobias, I...you need to understand. I already decided not to have children. I wanted a child, but I didn't think we could, so I already decided, but...we can have a family? Can we? I mean, should we? My family didn't treat me well. You had a family, but...not for long. Our own children."

Raven would grow very quiet for a moment as she stopped twisting her fingers in her nervous habit. Gently she would learn her shoulder into his chest as she looked down at the ground. The idea of starting a family with Tobias seemed surreal. Although she wanted that family it didn't make sense for them to have one, after all they didn't have one. How could they raise a family if they didn't have one to begin with? Was it possible that they wouldn't be good parents? Was it possible their child would have her feral condition, or what if the child had a terrible accident that made them just like her mate? Of course the child would have their help and support, no matter what. Raven would love the child, and attempt to give it the life neither of them had! But could they do such a thing? Her hand would take in his own that wore the ring, her thumb brushing over the cold metal, as she stood like this for a moment, thinking. Was he asking if she wanted a child, because she wanted one, or because he wanted to hear her thoughts on the idea. Did he want kids? He didn't ask it in such a way where the answer would be no, but at the same time, he didn't ask as if he wanted one either. Which answer did he want, she was terrified to hear he didn't want one. This relationship was for the both of them, they couldn't do something just because she wanted to do. With a shuddered sigh she mentally encouraged herself to speak up. She would tilt her head upwards, an affectionate simper, her eyes looking into his own. Murmuring softly, her voice held a warm note to it, as she spoke allowed her wish to have one...hoping he thought he same.

"We could have a family, together, something neither of us ever had."

Raven Clocksworth.