Nothing felt right. At least, not anymore. Then again, she supposed that this was how it felt for one's world to completely fall apart, like a castle made of sand sitting too close to the ocean only for the foam-crested waves to swirl around it on all sides and wash away its foundation. This was want it meant to feel everything slip away like a dream too good to be true, melting away as dawn's first light touched down upon one's face and beckoned them from the realm where so much was possible, where happily ever afters were conjured up and chased in the real world. Maybe, that was where she had been all this time... Part of her wanted to believe that it had all been as real as a dream was, something that she was just now only beginning to awaken from. She so foolishly dares to think that those tear-filled baby blues would open up and find the familiarity of her bedroom back in Willowhaven. She would hear the sounds of pots and pans clinking together as her mother began to get things ready for breakfast, and soon she would be called from the warm comforts of her bed and down the hall that led to the quaint little kitchen where the older woman would be making pancakes and humming a soft melody to herself as she did. Her father would be sitting there at the kitchen table, either looking over some new commission orders he would begin working on over the next few weeks and the list of materials that he would be needing or maybe flipping through the morning newspaper, scouring through the classified or reading over the articles reviewing local news. They would both look up to the young woman with loosely curled yet messy blonde hair as she rubbed the lingering remnants of last night's sleep away from her tired eyes, both smiling in their ever-usual and loving ways as they ushered a warm "good morning" to their daughter. And, just like that, her days spent within the city limits of Sacrosanct, those spontaneous adventures to Insomnia, the small yet always bustling confines of Inner Sanctum... they would all fade away and she would only be able to remember the faintest of pieces. Meeting Dorian and Elain, falling in love with Andras... it would have all been nothing more than imaginary and she would be able to dismiss them all as faces she would never meet, wondering if they were even true beings that existed in this world or purely made up out of whatever her mind had thought to make them from. Perhaps she might have seen a similar face or two in a movie or television show she watched a day or two ago, but she wouldn't be able to recall exactly. In the end, Beylani would only muse over them for another moment or two to see if perhaps she would be able to remember enough from this vivid dream to tell her parents and watch as they would laugh gently and tell her how she'd always had such a wild imagination that maybe the young woman should consider becoming a writer instead of a photographer. For one fleeting and oh, so foolish moment, she wants for everything to have been only a dream. A dream that had changed into a nightmare she could wake up from, just so that she could tell herself the ache in her chest and the tears that had fallen from her eyes weren't real.

And yet, even as she sat there wishing desperately, she had known so much better than to try and truly convince herself that she could wake up from all this and blink it away with the morning sun having touched her face of so softly that morning when her world shattered. Stop being so damn foolish, Lani. You know every part of this is real, that you let yourself get thus way. As she'd sat there and scolded herself inwardly, she had felt a fresh wave of heartache overwhelm her in that moment then as she sat there in the same place, in the same exact way she had when her bedroom door had clicked shut. It had been... the hardest thing in her life, shutting that worn wood after finding one last time those hazel eyes now so cold and so still. For her, it had been closing the door to the heart she'd given away, ending the chapter of her life that had been so beautiful and yet so heart-wrenching all in the same moment. That voice in the back of her mind had always warned her that everything would end, and when it did, she would be lost. However, she had never anticipated for it to end... so soon, so suddenly. She hadn't expected it to hurt so much, hadn't thought she could feel so alone. Every beat of her heart felt so terribly heavy when once they had been so light, each breath more difficult than the last as an almost unbearable weight drove her chest to ache and her sobs to leave her breathless. It felt like she was trying to breathe and only water would fill her lungs and leave her choking. Yet, even in that moment of pure and utter heartbreak, she can feel herself still trying to cling onto everything that she'd lost. The warm and bright face of the elderly fae woman found her, and more than anything in this world, Beylani wanted to run into those arms of Ida and cry into her shirt as she once did with her grandmother those years ago, when she had been so little. You'll never see her again. The young woman knew that she wouldn't, and somehow still it only made the cut to her soul that much deeper. Insomnia had been so beautiful, a perfect world so far away from her own and yet the blue-eyed blonde had loved it like it had Willowhaven. Before she had been able to catch herself, memories flicker across her thoughts and each one tears her apart all over again. She rememeber when she had first awoken in his bed after the attack that still haunted her darkest nightmares. She remembers how the fae man had pulled her beneath him when the blue-eyed blonde had crept into his room and dared to brush her fingers against those bat-like appendages, how he had been naked before her and her heart had nearly beat right out of her breast. She remembers how he'd placed his hands on her thighs as he kneeled there in front of her with the young woman'd back against the table and her cheeks so terribly flushed. The Winter Solstice Festival, how they'd danced, how he had laughed and smiled.... they continue to flash relentlessly against her efforts to stop them. Please... let me forget... She begs her thoughts then as that arrow seemed to bury ever deeper into her heart, making her lightheaded and nauseous, her stomach clenching so tightly that she was almost certain she would be sick. Despite her desperate plea for all the memories to fade away, there is still that part of her that holds them so very close. Perhaps it was because, buried there beneath all the pain and heartache that left her nearly unable to stand, the young woman knew there would be no way she could forget about them, about Andras... no matter how she would try, she wouldn't be able to just pretend he'd never filled her every thought and fantasy - that had been what made the hurt all the more worse, knowing that even when she didn't want to love him anymore... she still did.

The blue-eyed blonde woman doesn't remember now long she'd say there on the other side of that closed door, knees pulled to her chest as she wrapped her arms around herself. All she really remembers are the tears, how they'd spilled from her eyes even when her soft sobbing had slowed, making damp the skin of her legs where her face had been buried for what felt like hours and perhaps had really been just a long. There comes a point, when the sun was well-risen above the eastern skyline and having ushered the beginning of a new day... and yet there was no eagerness in the young woman. She remembers glancing over to the digital clock on her nightstand, reading the time at 8:14am. Had she cried herself to sleep? Had she simply just not felt the movement of time? She couldn't make heads or tails of either, making no motion to get up from where she say. It is then that, after having placed her head back into her lap, she can feel a sandpaper tongue against the skin of her leg. She turns her tear-soaked face see the tortoiseshell feline sitting there beside her. Chika had always seemed so capable of knowing when it was that Beylani needed comfort, and now more than ever before, the young woman truly did. There is no smile that ghosts across her lips as she takes hand to stroke the soft fur of her dearest companion, silent as she tries to find comfort in the gentle purring and jade green eyed that seem to be staring right into baby blue. Beylani lingers there for an unknown amount of time before finding the strength in her weak legs to stand, moving over to the unmade bed and unfolding herself within the covers. There was no hunger that claws at her stomach, no want to even try and leave her apartment. She simply curls up into her bed and allows for wet lashes to flutter closed over her eyes. All she wanted to do was sleep... There was no strength left in the young woman to move, surrendering to dreamless rest, the one place she might be able to escape from this world. The last thing she remembers feeling as sleep drags her further below the surface of her conciousness is the warmth of the small body pressing against her still trembling stomach as she slips away. Hours had gone by, the young woman having spilled between the deepest and quietest of sleep and near-consciousness only to be tugged back into the black abyss, and when finally she is pulled back to reality, the last place she wanted to be, she is almost surprised to find that it was 7:28pm. Her head aches as she moans softly. How... empty she felt, and yet she is no longer shaken by tears nor is the fierce ache making it hard to breathe... She chalks it up to some sort of coping mechanism, entirely aware that she would soon be in tears again most likely. So, she buries herself as deeply into this numbness, reaching for her phone and going through her contacts, only one thing on her mind as she dials that first number. The phone rings, and the voice of an older woman answers. The young woman fights against the emotions that try to swell, shoving them as far from herself as she can."Hey, mom..."

---- The Next Morning ----

Last night had been restless. The quiet apartment walls had been dark after the young woman had made an attempt to eat something, the scramble having felt like ash in her mouth as she'd sat there within the confines of her bedroom with only the sound of Chika purring or sleeping to find Beylani. She'd allowed for herself to succumb to the tears and the sobbing as she warred wildly against wanting to see him and desperately wishing she could forget everything. But finally, she had been able to find some rest after packing a week's worth of clothes. She hadn't really told her mother why it was that she wanted to come home, even when the older woman had asked multiple times if everything was okay. While they were so very far from "okay", Beylani simply told her mother than she missed home. And this was a truth, even if it wasn't the reason why she wanted to leave Sacrosanct. Baby blues free of tears for the first time in just a little over twenty-four hours glance to the clock on her nightstand. 9:23am. Before she even has a chance to think, there is a soft knock at the front door. Beylani departs from her room, though not before petting Chika and bending down to place a kiss on the feline's head."Be good for Ellie, okay?", she asks the cat as she always spoke to her companion. Dressed and ready for the long road trip home, she grabs her camera and shoves it into her bag without so much as looking at it. She moves towards the door, reaching a slender hand for the door knob and opening it to find the honey-blonde woman standing there."Hey!", Elain exclaims as she take Beylani into a hug, just as unaware of why it was the blue-eyed blonde was heading back to Willowhaven as Ruth was, even though the blue-eyed blonde had told her friend that she was going on a road trip, just to get out of the city for a while. Beylani does her best to smile then as she returns the dark huntress' affectionate gesture. When they part, the glacier blue eyes of Elain look to the bags slung over Beylani's shoulders."Looks like you're all set! I promise I'll take good care of Chika while you're gone", she says in that ever-bright voice."Thanks again, Ellie. You don't need to do much or stay here. Just make sure she has food, water, and a clean box. Of course, she would appreciate some attention, too before you leave", the blue-eyed blonde replies before moving over the threshold and out into the cool morning air. She hands Ellie the spare key she'd been given by the landlord but had no use for until today, the younger woman accepting it with a radiant smile."You can count on me! Just have a good time, and make sure to bring back lots of pretty pictures for me", she yet again assures, Beylani thankfully that she doesn't try and pry further. Pulling perhaps the falsest of smiles she has ever worn, she gives one last look to Ellie."I will. I'll see you in a week", she replies in a voice that almost doesn't sound like her own before Ellie closes the door and Beylani makes her way towards the stairwell and another place where another heartbreaking memory rushes to the forethought of her kind before she quickly pushes it away. Not now... not here.

She makes her way down the steps quickly, moving to the plain white sedan and unlocking the back door to place her bags on the seat. It was then that a familiar sensation washes over her, the feeling of eyes having her slowly and almost reluctantly turning around. As soon as baby blue eyes see him standing there in the corner of her street still too far for Beylani to make out the features of his face, she goes cold and rigid before quickly fumbling for the door handle on the driver's side and slipping into the car. Locking the doors and quickly fastening her seat belt, he wastes no time starting the car and pulling out of the parking lot to the Riverdale apartment complex. She watches as he grows ever smaller in her rearview mirror, how he lingers there still until she turns onto the main street and can no longer see him. It has to be that fae man from the park... She becomes more at ease as she leaves behind the furthest limits of Sacrosanct, turning on the music she hardly even bothers to listen to. It was better than silence, though. Miles go by as she watched the landscape change into open fields and trees, and for now, she is safe from herself and the heartache that she knows is waiting for just one chance to come surging forward yet again. She doesn't pay attention to the hours as they move by so slowly, and finally she pulls over to the side of the road, compelled to stop and stretch her legs a little. Getting out of the car, she breathes the fresh air deeply and sweeps her gaze over the wide-open land. How she had missed the countryside... She looks out to the grazing horses that do not so much as spare her a small glance, likely accustomed to the sound of cars driving past. Maybe taking some pictures will help. She walks around to the passenger side and reaches through the open window to retrieve the camera. She leans against the car then, cradling it in her hand as tears begin to blur her vision, unable to help remembering.... She swallows, blinking a few times and fighting back the tears as she lifts it to her face and begins taking pictures, trying to focus on the lighting and the angles. Moving further from the car and closer to the fence, she kneels for a better shot, almost missing altogether the sound of another car pulling over to the side of the road."Is everything okay, miss?", asks a masculine voice, causing the blue-eyed blonde to jump at the sudden and unexpected voice. She suddenly stands and turns to look at the man, elegant and loosely curled blonde locks swirling around her shoulders. It wasn't the man that had been watching her drive away, but instead a face that she hadn't seen before. A complete stranger with tanned skin wearing a white shirt beneath an undone flannel and blue jeans. He wears a warm smile, earthen eyes concerned as long raven-colored hair is pulled back into a ponytail and hiding the delicate point to his ears, unbeknownst to the young woman."Yes. Thank you, though. I just needed to stretch my legs a little", she says kindly, although she would be lying if she were to claim not being unsettled by him. After all, they were in the middle of nowhere... He seems to sense her unease and pauses a distance away, his smile broadening."Just wanted to make sure, that's all. I live on a farm just a few miles from here and I was on my way back from Burrows when I saw your car. A lot of people tend to break down here. It's like a curse or something", he says with an easy shrug of his shoulders, humor flitting across his words that put Beylani a little more at ease. He was just a nice guy, that's all. She almost feels guilty for having been unsettled by him, and so she allows for her guard to drop just a little...

His gaze moves down to the camera and brighten with something she guessed was excitement perhaps."You're a photographer?", he asks then and she smiles shyly."Aspiring to be. I'm not nearly as good as I want to be", she admits openly, seeing no harm in sharing this much with the kind man. There was something about the way that he looks at her then, Beylani unable to place her finger on it before he is moving a couple steps closer."Me, too! Well, sorta. I just recently got into it. Wanted to try something other than raising cattle with my folks. I stuck at it so far", he say with embarrassment lingering in his voice as he rubs the back of his neck beneath his ponytail in what seemed to be bashfulness. She could feel that guard of hers again beginning to falter just a little more. He seemed genuine enough, and it reached out to that softer part of the young woman that had been hurt so by the only one she would ever love. He then reaches out his hand towards the camera."May I see? I promise that I'll be careful with it", he asks then, and she can't help the ever so subtle way that her fingers clutch at the camera just a little tighter. This was the last thing that she had of him... There is a protectiveness that she is no stranger yet and yet she pushes it away. It didn't matter, not anymore. It was just another piece of her past that would always hurt her, anyway."Sure", she says warmly to the man then and reaches out to place it in his hands. His smile brightens then as he looks over the picture she'd just taken before he'd appeared."Wow, that's really good! I can't wait to be as good as you. Maybe you can even give me some pointers sometime. Oh, I'm Cass, by the way", the man remarks, then offering his name to her. Perhaps, if she might have noticed that the way that his eyes glinted if she wasn't still tired from the restless night she'd had after having slept the entire day away yesterday. But she doesn't..."I wouldn't mind. It's nice to meet you, Cass. I'm Beylani", she replies casually, though it was only a courtesy as she doubted she would ever see this man again... He Then extends his hand and the camera back out to her then, and Beylani moves to retrieve it from him, feeling the steel body against her fingers. He moves too fast for her mind to register then as she tries to pull her arm back into, his hand so much larger and stronger than her own grasping around her wrist. Only then does she realize that his hands were not callused like a livestock farmer's should be, and everything begins to make sense... Immediately her heart is racing wilding, baby blues wide with fear darting up to his gaze."What â€"", she begins to say, but her voice is stuck in her throat as she sees a wicked grin where that once warm smile had been only moments ago, a darkness flickering in his earthen depths as he pulls her in and seizes her other wrist."Let me go!", she screams out and he only chuckles in a way that has her blood turning to ice in her veins."I don't think I want to. There's a place I want to show you first", he answers lowly before he begins pulling her towards the black Oldsmobile parked behind her white sedan. She fights him every step of the way, putting every ounce of strength she has to pull herself free only to realize that it was useless. He was much too strong for her, and all she was doing was wasting energy that she couldn't afford to lose if it meant needing to try and escape. Her heart is hammering frantically as thinks to scream for help... but no one would hear her. Not out here, where there wasn't another house for miles.... And this time, she didn't have Andras to save her.