As Samantha stood in front of the fae man, she found herself sincerely wishing she could see into his emotions and his thoughts. She could feel those conflicting emotions that existed within him as easily as breathing. She knew he was upset she had left. And she couldn't blame him for that. She had left without a trace (intentionally so) despite that she knew he had... something for her. Feelings, she'd known, though she had never been able to figure out the extent to which he had cared about her. She'd known that it would be too hard to leave if she told him. He would have followed or tried to stop her. If she'd called, he would have convinced her to return home simply by being Troy. She would have wanted to make him happy, and she would have come home far before she was ready. She hadn't meant to hurt him (or anyone else) by not leaving and keeping silent. But she'd needed it for herself.

The sadness that radiated off of Troy seemed to make the room warmer somehow to the empath. She tried to voice how she was feeling, thinking of how she had wanted to find him, and yet that she hadn't yet. How could she explain without hurting him that the reason she hadn't yet was that it was hurting her too much to reconnect with everyone. It had been hard enough to see Dorian's home. To see the way he'd moved on and created this wonderful life with Sebastian. Without her. That Nadya had sold the burlesque and had opened a dance studio was like a punch in the gut. She'd hated every minute of working at the burlesque, and yet it had saved her from certain homelessness. It killed her that Vhalla had fallen into drunkenness to deal with her pain. It hurt to see that everyone had moved on without her. She was sure that Troy would have the same effect on her. To know that he was happy in Sacrosanct would both delight and kill her.

It wasn't that she was so selfish as to expect that their lives would stop in her absence. But still, it was difficult to see that their lives had continued where she had struggled to move past a moment two years ago. Over the last six months, she'd felt her life start to ease up as the pain of the past lessened. It had been that that allowed her to come back to Sacrosanct. Sure, it had been derailed a little by seeing Aiden alive and well, but Sam convinced herself every day that it would get better. She would move forward, and their awkward friendship would get easier day by day.

Samantha stepped forward, though winced when Troy's body tensed even further. There had been a time when she could hug him easily and without restraint. As she explained her understanding that he'd been worried about her, she watched the tension slip slightly on his shoulders. She stepped back, sitting down in the chair she'd vacated. "I know," She said softly. "I know you would have gone with me. And I... I couldn't let you. I needed to learn how to take care of myself. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I relied so much on... on my ex. I relied on him and his pack's protection to keep me safe. And in the end it destroyed me. I became a queen because I thought it would keep me safe, and I felt like a fool in the end. I needed..." She paused. "I needed to save myself. This princess had to be her own savior, if you know what I mean."

She glanced up as he asked how she was, biting her lip at the awkwardness that hung in the air. "I'm... good, actually. I really never thought that I would be saying that. But I'm good. I'm happy. I'm glad to be back." She said honestly, nodding her head as she spoke. "I missed you, though, for what it was worth. I... I wanted to call you. And Dorian and Nadya and Vhalla so desperately. But I knew the instant I heard any of your voices, I'd fall apart and rush back here. I needed... to be away for a little while. But it was good for me. I learned how to use my powers. I... I tracked down my makers, the ones that I was so afraid of, and it sucked but they didn't really even remember me. It... It made me feel silly, of course, that they were so carefree and yet the source of my nightmares. But it made me stronger, in a way. It made me realize that I'm capable of being the powerful person I made myself pretend to be. And... and I am that girl now, Troy. And it feels so, so good."