Honesty was better than a lie. That's what Raven had said. She had been the one to encourage him to tell Sterling that he had slept with Malia not once but twice. He hadn't wanted to hurt Sterling. He wanted to start off a new relationship built on honesty and trust. And so, he had followed Raven's advice and laid it all out on the table hoping that they could move past his mistakes and move forward on a foundation of love and honesty. But that had all backfired on him. Now he had ruined everything.
He tried to tell Malia that she wasn't a bad friend - she was a great friend. She was doing everything she was supposed to be doing. She was offering him support and words of encouragement. As much as she might want to fix his problems, there was no way that she could. Only he could fix this mess and honesty, it felt as though his relationship was totaled - unsalvageable. He wasn't sure he would ever be able to move forward.
But Malia, sweet Malia, felt as though there was already a way to fix things. Even she saw the love he had for Sterling and how much the boy meant to him. She was rooting for them. Did she know that she was the root cause for the distrust? He couldn't do that to her. So unlike her honesty policy, he kept most of that blame to himself. She was far too good of a creature to tear down in that manner.
He sighed when she said he couldn't give up on love. He would always love Sterling and he was confident that would never change. But no matter how much he loved Sterling, it didn't erase what he had done. "I will always love him, that will never change. But..." His voice faded slightly as he looked up at her. "...I don't know if he loves me in the same manner anymore. We have a lot of history, Malia...a lot of mistakes I've done. He's probably tired of putting up with my shit. I can't really blame him, though." The drinking, the drugs, the girls. Henry had not been the best to Sterling and while he had vowed to change, perhaps Sterling just didn't want to go down that road with him anymore. Perhaps he had really brought Sterling to his breaking point.