a new world hangs outside the window
beautiful and strange
it must be I've fallen awake
I must be
She hated the beach. Always had. While Leslie was the first to whine about wanting to skip down to the southend of town on Spring Break to soak in the sun, Buffy was always reluctantly pulled there. Even now, as she pressed her bare toes into the cool granules of sand, she did it with a scowl on her face. But she couldn't bear to spend another moment holed up inside her apartment with only her grumpy orange cat for company.
For a while, yoga helped. It was her daily, sometimes twice-daily, reprieve. But even that seemed like it was beginning to wane. The desire to drink still knocked against the back of her skull. Some days it was easier to ignore. But she had a harder time lately letting go during "shavasana". All she could think about was the burn of a whiskey soda sliding down her throat. And then she'd get a flash of those men from the bar, dangling her arms and swirling her hips like she was nothing more than a rag doll... and her big brown eyes would force open.
Buffy took in a deep breath and closed her eyes - trying to focus on the sound of the lapping waves ahead of her. But all she could hear was the drone of the cars leaving the parking lot behind her and the annoying chatter of some teens further down the beach. Fuck this, she said with the roll of her eyes, and she dug through her knapsack for a cigarette.
The dark hunter flipped through the messages in her phone aimlessly, but nothing pressing rose to the surface. She had no close friends - only Leslie - who was thousands of miles away right now and probably at a pool, if not a beach. She thought briefly of texting Sebastian, but every word she typed out with her chubby thumbs felted forced and awkward. Finally she gave up, throwing the phone back into her bag and sucking some more on what was left of her Camel light.
GIA BUFFY JONES