It was near impossible to miss the note of concern that colored her mother's voice coming through her phone."Are you sure you don't need anything from home, dear? It really isn't any trouble for us to come visit this weekend", the gentle and ever-doting woman inquires. Lani knew why her mother worried. Well, more than she used to when the blue-eyed blonde once lived there in Willowhaven with her parents. She can't help the small, weak, yet loving smile that finds her blush-colored lips then."I'm sure, mom. I've only been back a week, you know? You and dad sent more than enough with me to last for a month", she replies, trying her best to convince the woman she so takes after with eyes like clear summer skies and hair as golden as the wheat fields of that small country town she'd live the first twenty years of her life in that everything was okay. That she was okay. The truth was... Lani wasn't okay. How terribly the sun and stars above knew just how desperately she wanted to be. If she could have taken back that night when she'd met him, she would have in a heartbeat. If it weren't for having met him, if it hadn't been for the way she left herself believe things she had known better to.... well, then, everything would have been different. There wouldn't have been so many tears cried, so many night spent sleepless and weary for fear of the nightmares that might find her if she dared to close her eyes and chase after that thing called sleep.

At least, that's what she tries to tell herself... tries to believe that she would have taken it all back.... but she never manages to actually convince herself that she would. It was just another lie she's trying to make herself believe in. And today, just like every other day before, she fails to.

"Well... okay. We'll come visit the weekend after, then. And that you can't argue with me on", her mother says, hesitant at first and yet her tone changes to that strong, supportive, yet determined voice that had always been there to comfort and encourage Beylani. And yet, the fae woman knows that her mother still worries, even if she, too, is trying to hide it. After all, both her mother and father had been been surprised that their daughter who had come home broken and lost those two years ago (or was it three? four?) had told them that she planned on moving back to Sacrosanct. As she had expected, her father had been quick to insist that she just stay home, that they could find a place just for Lani nestled within that peaceful rural town. And there had been a large part of the fae woman that wanted to stay there, hidden away where the chances that her past would find her were next to impossible. For all the wishing and the dreaming... she knew that she couldn't. Not when she was what she was now.... Even after all this time, she still has not managed to tell them what truly happened to her. She wasn't sure she would ever be ready to tell them.

She knew she'd have to tell them someday. They'd notice eventually even if she didn't.

Lani manages a soft chuckle."Okay, mom. I won't. I've gotta go, though. I want to get to the pet store before they close, Chika needs more kibble", she says then, turning to look at the clock hanging above the television in the living room and noting that it was nearly 5:00 pm. She had only about 30 minutes to get there before the local shop she loved would be closing for the evening. The two women exchange their goodbyes followed by their 'I love you's before ending their call, and with that, the blonde fae woman grabs her black leather shoulder bag and exits the small colonial style house, locking the door behind her.... double checking that it was locked.... and getting into her silver 2009 Subaru Impreza hatchback. She drives through the streets of the small suburban neighborhood of Dupont Circle and towards the southern part of the city. The radio plays various songs from some station broadcasting "most popular hits", but she's hardly listening to it. She doesn't really know why she has it on when her thoughts are so often somewhere else... anywhere else other than where she was. But, nonetheless, she lets the music play quietly as she navigates the city traffic she'd nearly forgotten about when she'd moved back to Willowhaven after, well, everything.

There was no way she could have stayed, risked the chance that he might find her again. Yet, she finds herself returning to the very same city, when she could have picked anywhere else in the world to escape to... She could have gone anywhere, but back to Sacrosanct she had come.

Almost immediately, she notices the emptiness of the small parking lot in front of the pet shop and she can hardly stifle the "ugh" that ushers from her lips. Had she gotten the hours mixed up? She parks near the front entrance, climbing out of the car and baby blues find the sign displayed on one of the front windows clearly indicating that they closed at 5:00 on Sundays. Of course they close early on Sundays.... I should have remembered that..., she groans to herself. She sighs heavily, mostly in frustration with herself. One would think that maybe she'd have a better grasp on her world now. But, as was obvious by the rather defeated expression on her face as she climbs back into her Impreza, she still couldn't manage something as simple as remembering that one of her favorite stores closed early on Sundays. She sits there in the driver seat, head leaning against the back of it. Now what? She wasn't exactly ready to go home and be alone with her thoughts as she blankly stared at some randomly selected movie or show on Netflix or Hulu. Sure, they'd probably find her no matter where she went.... but if she could just enjoy some fresh air, maybe she'd have some sliver of a chance at feeling content - even if it only lasted for a breath or two. Something was better than nothing. Or so was the new motto she found herself trying to constantly tell herself anymore.

There was still more than enough time before the sun was going to set, why waste it?

Starting up her car again, the fae woman with elegantly curled blonde hair that cascaded over her shoulders and down to the middle of her back makes the decision to go to the beach. She doesn't have any memories there that she was trying to run from, after all. If anything, it makes Lani think of Dorian, and she wonders how he's doing now. But, it wasn't a thought that she dared to let linger for very long, instead turning the volume of the music she wasn't bothering to listen up like it would help anything. As she drives, her thoughts contemplate the attire she had on today. She wears a plain, white v-neck t-shirt, blue jeans, and white tennis shoes. Other than the shoes, she was reasonably dresses, but she made a mental note to grab the black windbreaker that was draped over the passenger seat in case it was colder than she expected. She'd just take off the shoes when she reached the sand to keep them from getting too dirty. Had she known this would be how the end of her afternoon would go, she would have brought some flip-flops. Oh well. You haven't been able to control much of anything in your life for years, why would you think that far ahead, Lani?, she chides herself inwardly.

She merely adds the need to improve her self-preparedness to the seemingly endless list of steps she needs to take to move on and away from the shadows that always seems to be lingering on the outskirts of her consciousness and subconsciousness. Anything she could do to forget for even just a little while...

About twenty more minutes of driving and she finds herself parking in front of the open ocean. Grasping the windbreaker after tucking her handbag safely under the seat and out of view from anyone that might wander past her car, the fae woman climbs out of the car, pulls on the thin jacket. She remembers (miraculously) to take off those white tennis shoes, depositing them on the driver seat before closing and locking the car and tucking her keys safely into the right pocket of black fabric. Then begins her small stroll towards the sun-baked sand. The moment her bare feet slip into it, she sighs quietly, softly... almost peacefully. She continues to walk closer towards the foam-crested waves that crash and collide against the beach, her strides slow and steady, her thoughts empty save for the sounds that envelope her. The voices of seagulls above, sailing on invisible currents overhead while a few families dot the landscape below, enjoying what remains of the day just as Lani was attempting to. For a moment most fleeting, there is the faintest ghost of a smile as baby blue eyes watch the scene before her. She is mindful that the wind does not tousle her locks so much that it does not conceal those delicately pointed ears, for even in what appears to be a state of peace, there is always that inescapable need to hide what she was.

Despite the years that have passed, despite the grace she never had until her whole world shattered around her feet, Beylani still tries to pretend to be what she once was not so long ago...