Lucas felt like he was dying.

No - not dying. This wasn't dying.

He knew what dying felt like. And this?

This wasn't it.

Dying was a bullet to the stomach. Yeah.

It was convulsions on the couch. Foam in the throat. Contraband on the table.

It was one too many hits to the head. A swollen tongue. Too little air.

More often than not, death was something cold and metallic against his skin. ...At least it was back in his world.

But no matter what the case? Death was often very blurry. And warm. Well, warm followed by numb. But not before the pain, which usually always comes before the blurry. Death is a whole process.

And this wasn't that. But that might have made it a little bit easier.

Because the walls don't close around you when you're dying. The world doesn't shrink into a box so tight it causes your bones to ache, threatening to snap at any moment with even the most minuscule of added pressures. It doesn't make the outside seem too small or the air hurt to breathe. It doesn't make blood turn into fire and sweat turn into rain.

Death makes sense.

This?

This just fucking sucked.

Because everything was moving too fast. And since when did everything move so fucking fast? Lucas couldn't make it out of the main part of the city nearly as quickly as he would have liked. The West side suddenly seemed too small, too crowded - too easy to find what he so desperately needed... and yet Lucas couldn't bring himself to do it.

There was something telling him there was more in this city. Something better than the regular high he was seeking, something that lay beyond the depths of the typical dealers he could find in any old shady back alley. He wanted more. He could smell it, taste it in the air - this city had veins of magic. And the deep, desperate, greedy part of Lucas knew that he needed to have it. Whatever "it" was.

Until he found it... he would need to find a way to cope. He was doing an excessively bad job of that. Despite the manic onset of panic that was rising at his very core, Lucas was never one to outwardly wear that kind of emotion on his sleeve. The were dog didn't look his very best, no. But should someone pass by on the street, glance in his direction, or spare him any moment of their time - they would see the typical Lucas expression. Mildly agitated, mostly indifferent, perhaps a slight glower if you played it right. His eyes were never friendly. Less so, with the dark circles that were beginning to reappear beneath them.

They went well with the thin sheen of sweat that covered his skin, perhaps not entirely due to the dark clothing he dawned or the surprisingly pleasant weather forecast for most of the day. Whatever the case, it paired well with the twitch of his fingers and occasional clenching of fists. He felt an unreasonable need to hit something. Maybe a tree would suffice - or the next person to bump against him on a crowded sidewalk. Whichever came first.

The patch of green at the edge of Hyde park was somewhat of a relief. It was a large open place. Less buildings. Less people. It seemed like a win win for now, or rather, as much of a win as Lucas was sure he could get. He was certain most people would find comfort in being so besmirched in nature like this. It was pretty and green and, you know, had trees. Lucas didn't find it nearly as relaxing as it probably should have been. The air was still hard to swallow and the claustrophobic feeling hadn't quite dispersed the way he'd been hoping it would, but it was... better. A little.

Maybe.

The cigarette helped. The taste of smoke was familiar as he moved to sit on the lip of a mostly unoccupied fountain, unbothered by the few people who happened to pass. Maybe it was the big 'fuck off', 'danger', and 'bites' warnings that were practically scrawled about his entire demeanor that gave people the clue to give the man a wide berth.

And maybe it was only because of that, in this moment, that Lucas felt alone enough to haphazardly flick an abandoned penny deep into the fountain's water.

He wasn't sure how much wishes usually cost.

But his couldn't possibly be worth that much.

Lucas