She wasn't always like this. She was quite the rambunctious little spitfire as a young puppy. Always she was the first in everything, eager to please and show just what she was capable of. Everyone assumed that when she got aggressive in her puppy form it was just simply Alpha blood that needed to be gently controlled and moved into a better outlet. But as she got older, more aggressive than what was beyond the attitude of Alpha blood, that was when everyone worried. It wasn't until the fateful accident when the decision was made that to 'treat' her was to beat her. A deranged animal could only submit and be controlled when they were forced to do so in such a way under harsh conditions. Years of abuse had caused the girl to revamp into something highly unrecognizable. She flinched, she averted, she stayed out of other people's way, it was how she knew how to function under this new lifestyle. Now that she was free she was still being tormented. There was no direction in which she knew where to go. Always the directions were given to her and no independent thought was necessary. Working in the warehouse adjusted her frame of mind, if only slightly, the mundane tasks were enough to make her go into an automatic pilot mode, ignoring everyone and focusing on the task at hand. The goal of her pack was to control her enough to where should she succumb to her disease she would still be manageable. Should her whole welfare suffer then so be it. They had successfully beaten the beast and now she was in her own personal hell as she tried to walk the fine line between what she knew was right and what she knew was wrong.

She was working diligently, steadying her hurried breath from rushing down the stairs, when Lucian decided to walk in. She had never been late before and she knew damn well she had a minute to spare, but he never came in this early so her heart would start to beat once more. Hearing him say her name caused her to pause for a moment ready for the strewn of orders he would give. When his fingers reached her hand for the bullet she would swiftly bring her hand to her side, as if his touch would kill her. Hearing his phrase of butter no parsnips did nothing more than leave doubt in her head. She had heard those phrases before from her pack and they were dirty tricks. She wanted to trust someone, desperately wanted a friend, thinking she would finally get one in her pack when all they did was lead her down into a trap and just throw snide comments that damaged her emotional and mental frame. Weary of his intentions she simply nodded not too sure what else to do. Walking from behind the counter hearing him explain she could have what she wanted did nothing but leave a subtle frown, she wasn't always given permission to have what she wanted. Blue-grey eyes would meet his as he made fun of her beverage of choice which caused the girl to give him a puzzled look while her voice held a deadpan note.

"That's because it is just leaves boiled in water."

Heading out the door she would follow after him, keeping her head low, naturally, and only raising it when they arrived at the café with him pulling out a chair. Puzzled she just stared at it for a moment not sure as to why he would pull it out for himself, but as he gestured for her to sit she would slowly approach it, not sure what else to do. As soon as the waitress came and after Lucian let out a string of words she hardly understood she gently told the waitress that for today, instead of chai tea, she would want earl grey black tea, with a tad bit of cream. Not all teas had to be just leaves in boiled water. Hearing her name said again she would perk up looking at him wondering what he wanted now and hearing his prying question her teeth clenched and she went rigid. Bringing her hands together she would bring her fingers together, knotting them as she forced out a tired response.

"I was with the Talbot Pack. Mom and Dad were the Alphas, I went to school."

It was a tailored response. Meant to keep everyone out. She did not want to talk about anything in regards to her pack, especially when the topic was about her. It wasn't hard to see the evidence that permanently marked her flesh. There was no need to go into detail not when the answers undyingly disfigured her face. She always wore a jacket, always allowing the sleeves to cover her arms, her long curly hair hiding her neck while jeans covered the rest easily. No matter what the temperature was outside she never allowed her pale flesh to meet the light of day, only when she was covered in her sleek black and grey fur would she allow her flesh to see any sort of light. The question about her pack only caused her to stiffen. Her Sister pack had given her strict rules on what to say about her pack, they were a noble breed from where they were from, and it would be bad PR should the truth come out.

"They are all dead."

Her voice was firm and held a final note in it. She did not want to go down that pathway and reveal all the things she had constantly fought to ignore each waking minute being in this form. As soon as the waitress came back she would take her tea and gently drink it, allowing the bitter taste to calm her down, if only, for a while.

I'd Rather Feel Pain Then Nothing At All

Raven