Darkness... The young woman is free-falling through nothing but endless shadow. At least, that was what it felt like. Baby blue eyes blink (or do they?) as she searches the empty black for a sign. What signs? She hardly knew... Anything would have been of some comfort perhaps, but she finds nothing there. Was she breathing? Again, she couldn't tell. It feels as though there was wind rushing over her as she tumbled further and further into the nothingness. And yet, what she does know in that moment, is the subtle beating of a heart there within her breast. How precious it was. She allows for herself to feel it, for while it was weak, it was there. It hadn't been beating moments ago, or so she'd thought. But what was a single, small moment when one had been given an infinite number of moments until perhaps the world ceased to exist? Any and all concept of time is lost to Beylani as she is still falling, with no end to be found or felt. Here, there is no sound. There is no warmth or cold that nips at her pale skin. Was the air she felt even truly air? Where was she? What was happening? All these questions echo within her mind and it would have perhaps been dizzying - if there was any certain feeling in this seemingly eternal darkness. There is a fleeting worry now, if this would ever end or if she would be lost here in the dark forever. She doesn't like the dark. No, now, she is terrified of it in every sense of the word. So much so that she can hardly dare to tempt the idea of unlocking the door to her apartment and stepping outside if there is no daylight to vanquish the shadows which run rampant during the witching hour. Once, there was a time when the blue-eyed blonde hadn't really minded the shadows or the deep darkness of nightfall. However, that had been before so many things had happened. Then, suddenly... there is a whisper. It was so frightfully faint, and she wonders how she hadn't missed it entirely. Well, that was a lie. How could she miss it at all when she knew it the very moment it touched her ears? She has heard it too many times before to ever hope to forget.

"Lani......"

No sooner than the soft, hushed whisper touches her ear does find herself blinded as a bright, white light slays the shadows in one swift motion. Now, she does in fact know those long lashes are blinking over her eyes as they try to adjust to the sudden change. When everything becomes clear, that soft heartbeat races wildly, her breath quickening that it made her dizzy. She remembers this room, the massive bed she finds herself within, covered in thick blankets soft and plush against her skin. She turns baby blues to the floor-to-ceiling glass window only to see a light dusting of glittering snow dressing tall evergreens. And, as she begins to plunge into the realization of where she was, his scent assaults her senses so that there is no mistaking who was in this room with her. She doesn't want to turn away from the snow outside, she doesn't want to see the fae ......"man who had both saved her life and taken it before for reasons she still does not dare to know. And yet, for all the defiance within the young fae woman, she already knows what was to come next. Her hand is warm as he takes it within his own, his thumb brushing against the skin upon the back of her hand as he tries to, what, comfort her? After those words he'd very nearly snarled at her?! After he'd left when she closed herself within her room, tears falling like rain from her eyes as she sobbed into her arms until they were entirely soaked? After he'd taken her heart with which she'd loved him and shattered it? Again, her head is spinning as she is overwhelmed with grief and disbelief, forced to now face the very real fact that she would never age a day, that she would have to watch as her family grew old and passed away, leaving her completely alone... But, it was more than that. There was more to the fierce ache gripping her heart tighter and tighter than when she'd come to understand that she would lose those she loved most in this world. Once more, his words from the night before almost scream through her memories.

"I would never allow such a thing nor would I ever picture it. Do not ever speak like that again......"

With a jolt, Beylani awakens from the familiar nightmare of her rebirth. She gasps through the sobs that fall from her lips. She feels every single fragment of grief, sorrow, and anger as she had that day. Her face is wet with tears that fall just as fiercely as they had nearly two years ago. Her heart aches as deeply as it had when she'd looked into those hazel eyes as he told her what had happened, what he'd changed her into. Almost reflexively, a slender hand reaches through wet golden blonde hair to find the delicate point she'd once prayed would be gone, like everything had been nothing more than one long, excruciating nightmare. Time and time again, she feels her heart sink in her chest as she finds those tell-tale ears of the creature she was now where she'd desperately wanted to find human ears. Slowly, the sobs become quiet and she simply lays there within the disheveled sheets of her own bed in the familiar, small apartment. As she shifts to lay on her right side, pulling her knees almost up to her chest as if to try and comfort herself despite knowing that it would fail, a medium-haired tortoiseshell feline jumps into the bed beside her. A soft "mew" is given then, Chika moving closer to lay over the fae woman's arm, rough tongue brushing against Beylani's cheek as she tries to soothe her crying companion. It helps to silence the remnants of her sobs, eases her ragged breathing into a slow and deep state of normality. Blinking through watery eyes, she wonders what time it was. There, the digital alarm clock on the nightstand reads 4:37am. When had she managed to fall asleep? Midnight? Later, maybe? She hardly knows anymore, and there is even a part of her that asks why she even cares when such a thing as time didn't even matter like it once did. Perhaps it was simply that fading part of her that so dearly wanted it to mean something again. Maybe it helped in a painfully small sense to make her feel normal when it couldn't ever be clearer that she had been robbed of her previous life.

She lays there, eyes closed, wanting to sleep... to forget, but she knows that she won't.
But, still, she tries.

The clock reads 8:23am now, and though she wants only to lay there sleeplessly as she has since resurfacing from the moment she's already had to relive countless times before, the blue-eyed blonde has managed to move herself from the bedroom, into the bathroom for a shower, to the kitchen where a freshly brewed carafe of coffee waited, before finally settling onto the black futon sofa in her small living room. Small hands hold the cup around its body, and she finds some form of fleeting comfort in its warmth, in the taste of it as she lifts the cup to her lips and takes a drink. Still, she is unused to the thick aromas and the rush of flavors that touch her tongue, just one more reminder that she was no longer human. Already, her sunshine hair accented with milk chocolate undertones is dried and gently curled in the same fashion she has always worn it. She wears a powder blue tank top and dark blue jean capris. One would think that she was ready for an outing of some sort, maybe eager to run errands or spend a day relaxing on a bench in Hyde Park with a book and enjoy what promised to be a clear and beautiful afternoon. But, when one looks to the slight frown puling at her blush-colored lips and the way her baby blue gaze doesn't quite reach beyond the living room window with curtains pulled aside and blinds lifted for Chika to lay upon the sill as she always does, it becomes clear that there is nothing about the young woman that is eager for the day. And yet, she knows that she cannot just sit here in her apartment and watch the world pass her by. Well, she could. But it would only be asking for her mind to wander, and when it did... well, she didn't want to waste it in tears. She knows that Chika was nearly out of kibble, and while she herself no longer needed food to stay alive, her beloved companion did."Maybe shopping will help...", she says quietly, partly to the content cat perched in the window. It would be fleeting, the relief she might be able to find in the task.

But a small second was worth it, even if she only felt normal for that long.

Slipping into white sandals, she makes her way to the closet in her bedroom for a light jacket. Opening the door, she can't help but look at the dusty box on the top shelf. She flinches, knowing all to well what was in it. Almost instantly, she sees his jacket hanging there next to the charcoal grey zip-up jacket she was wanting. Again, a deep ache sets in over her heart, the fae woman freezing before having to forcefully look away, her hand grasping what she'd been after and pulling it off the hanger before quickly closing the door. She has to take a few deep, steadying breaths before pulling her own jacket over her arms. Retrieving a small black leather backpack purse from it's place beside the closet door, she departs from her bedroom and steps out the front door, locking it behind her. It was a bright morning, but still there was a slight chill to the air that filled her lungs, and she finds it refreshing. With her spirits about as lifted as she could manage, she makes her way across the shared balcony and to the stairwell and the parking lot below. Where once a white sedan had parked, a blue 2018 Honda Fit hatchback sits, a gift from her parents when she'd told them she wanted to return to Sacrosanct. She loved her parents, and she loved Willowhaven. But, in the same heartbreaking moment, she knew that she couldn't stay there forever like she wanted. Her small country hometown has likely never been touched by the type of magic that enshrouded this city in an unseen mist. Eventually, they would start to notice that she wasn't aging, and she was still so terribly far from ready to tell her mother and father that she wasn't the little girl they raised. Not completely. And, in the end, that was one of the things that hurt Beylani more than she could ever say. Pushing these thoughts away for fear that her eyes would begin to spill with tears all over again, she places her hand on the driver-side handle and opens the door and climbs in. Starting her car, she pulls out of her space and drives to the east side of the city, and ultimately, the city center.

Reaching City Creek Center and finding a parking spot in the expectantly packed parking lot, the blue-eyed blonde gets out of her car and makes her way to the main entrance. She's only seen pictures of it on the internet, but they hardly did this place any justice. This is a lot bigger than I thought it would be. Her senses are almost overwhelmed by the usually tempting scent of charbroiled meats and fragrant perfumes from both the flowers and the humans that swarmed this place. None seemed to stop and look at the fae woman, so caught up in their own conversations or staring into the large display windows of the boutiques and various other stores here. In this, she found perhaps the most comfort, and for a moment she allows for herself to pretend as she so often does. To them, she was just another face in the crowd. To them, she was almost invisible. It was almost enough to bring a soft, empty smile to her lips, but it doesn't quite. She walks with the flow of the crowd, glancing into the department stores and eyeing the food stands scattered around, only stopping to admire a dress that catches her eye. It was a floral white spaghetti-strap dress that came down to the halfway down the manikin's calves, accompanied by white greek-like sandals that completed a modest and simple yet beautiful ensemble. Long lashes blink over baby blues as she contemplates just how expensive the dress might be, even daring to muse venturing inside to ask, but that is before a scent assaults her senses. Immediately, she can feel every part of her slender frame tense. She is breathless, heart hammering. There's no way he would be here. He's in Somnia. You're imagining things. Maybe she was just losing it. Maybe her nightmare was still playing tricks upon her mind even though it had been hours since she'd woken up a sobbing mess from it. The fae woman doesn't even look around at the faces around her as she simply stands there, closing her eyes of clear summer skies as she tries to compose herself.

Breathe, Lani. Just.... breathe...