Open-ness wasn't exactly my thing. In fact, I was mostly sure those more genuine emotions weren't my thing and yet, somehow, out of nowhere, they seemed to have snuck up on me. I hadn't even noticed, or at least, it had been so subtle I hadn't even worried about it. Not until that night in the bathroom where I had suddenly been possessed by some ridiculous urge to say it out loud. It wasn't even like I'd just said something mildly affectionate either. I'd apparently decided that the best way to handle that situation was to blurt out that I loved her. I suppose I always had. At least, I had for a long time and I just hadn't realised what it was even if I'd apparently subconsciously known it all along. Those words had been a damn near shock to me almost as much as they were for her and yet I...meant them. I really did. The idea of that terrifying enough alone. I'd never told anyone I loved them in all my life. Not my parents, not my sister, not even my nanny. It was a word I'd avoided for so long I'd almost thought I was immune to it- as ridiculous as that was. I guess I'd forgotten it existed. I guess maybe I'd never known how it felt. Maybe that was why I hadn't realised it until it had come falling out and I'd been felt standing there trying to stuff it back in while Kat just- stared.

Staring hadn't exactly been the response I'd been expecting. That the worst five seconds of my life. It had felt like five years before that response finally came ad even then I hadn't known what to do with it. That moment in the bathroom (the damn bathroom of all places, Christ) had become a thing we almost didn't talk about even though it was true. I did love her. Even the thought of her enough to bring that smile to my lips. That genuine smile and not the one I used just to make girls smile back. Maybe we just weren't the sort of people who needed to say it all the time. I could be alright with that. The both of us, I think, still trying to work out what to do with that information. Hell, we were both useless. It was fortunate really that I hardly had any idea of those thoughts within her own mind, those worries I was going to propose would have been enough to make me laugh. It took me, what, two years? To even tell her I loved her. Marriage was still a little ways off. God marriage. That was so...adult. That thought near shoved from my mind as I stared back up at that ceiling, arms folded behind my head, that open window blowing that cool breeze across my bare chest. Even despite it all we were somehow still together, hell, Kat practically lived here now. The pair of us having taken these relationship steps without even realising, that simper tugging at my lips at the thought of it all the same. It was terrifying and yet a part of myself.....liked it. I liked having her here every night. I liked coming home to that same woman every night- that a thought I'd never imagined having and yet, well, I was....happy. More then I remembered being in a long time. Mostly.

It wasn't exactly a secret that I was hardly a fan of Kat's work. It wasn't my job to tell her what to do. After all, if anything I should have been out there helping her and yet all that...fighting wasn't exactly my style. My supernatural battles so far having involved spraying a fire hydrant at a vampire, running a Werewolf and a Wererabbit over with a car and hitting some guy with an ipad. I'd had to get a new one after that too. His head had broken the screen and he'd gotten blood on it. I don't do blood. Got it was so unhygienic I could feel my skin crawl even now. Still, the point remained the same. Kat had been working more then ever I was almost sure of it. Her promise not to be gone long always resulted in her wandering back home at two and three in the morning to collapse in to bed covered in wounds I knew she tried to hide but I could see all the same. They healed by the morning but it was hardly the point. It was almost like the council was trying to kill her or....keep her away from me. That thought alone prompting a frown to my features. I never slept when she wasn't home. I just lay awake even though I pretended I didn't. Waiting for her to come back and worrying that she wouldn't. Did she know how close I'd come to calling the Council and demanding to know where she was some of those nights? Did she have any idea hoe exhausted she actually was? Anyone who was too exhausted for sex I am entirely sure needs at least a month off. Could I ask for holidays for her? She might not appreciate that. Still, I'd like to tell that council exactly what I thought of them and I-.

The sound of her, finally, coming home saw that thought pause near instantly. Well, I hope it was her, if it wasn't her then it was an intruder and I was probably going to die. That would be really unfortunate. Those supposed Hunter senses though finally seemed to kick in, assuring me that it was another Hunter. They'd been getting....stronger lately and yet I hadn't quite seen any need to mention that to Kat. It wasn't worth worrying about right? I heard that bathroom door close, my features frowning once more as I pushed those sheets back to roll easily from that bed, my hands reaching for that battered pair of old jeans I wore when at home- shrugging them on. It was easy to cross the room to that bathroom then, the sound of running water echoing from within as I lifted my hand to place against the door. Maybe I should check first.

"Kat? You're not bleeding are you?"

You'd think after the amount of blood I'd managed to see in my life I'd be over it and yet really it still managed to bother me. God it was going to be on my tiles again wasn't it? Maybe I should just renovate and get black tiles- or red ones. It was only when I was mostly clear she wasn't bleeding everywhere that I pushed my hand on that door to make my way in, the blue gold of my gaze finding her own before near immediately dropping to her figure in search of the damage I knew had probably already been done. Were her leather pants...scorched? Had she run into a burning building? That anxiety tugging at me all the same and yet I bit down on the words, for now. Was it wrong that her pants looked mildly sexy with those holes in them? My form leaning back against the doorway. Did she have any idea what time it was? She looked exhausted. Hell. I think we both did. This insane schedule was taking its toll on everything.

"Was that your last shift for the week? You have the weekend off right?"

It was a vague hope- but it was better then nothing, right?


k o h l
light 'em up, light 'em up