I have no idea how people can be celibate, I truly don't. It isn't possible. Not once you've tried sex, not once you've experienced the utter and sheer bliss that comes from finding that internal high that is richer and far more potent than any drug can every try and be. This, sex, this has been my drug for years- the one and only time my mind is quiet, so focused on another person that for just a few perfect moments it isn't focused on me. My thoughts slow down, it becomes about sensation and touch and my mind simply does not have to work so hard to perform something so utterly instinctive. Maybe using sex as a form of medication isn't exactly healthy by mental standards, but I'm not exactly complaining. I became good at getting it because I had to be and yet that is merely all it was, a means to an end. I never treated any woman badly, hell, I enjoyed spending time with them- but until right here and now I am not entirely sure that it ever meant anything. What I thought I knew become utterly irrelevant that very moment I met her gaze, it was only a moment, a second in time and yet- that one fucking second changed my entire life and that was by far the most freeing, if not most terrifying realisation I think I may have ever had. This...Kat....meant more to me than any single thing ever had before and truly I have no idea why it took me this long to see it- or why this moment seemed to be the one I my mind actually chose to acknowledge. I never have loved anyone before- I know that now, I'm sure, after all- this feeling is something never have had before I think that maybe for just that single minute- we both understood and for now that is enough.

I can hardly say it, at least not yet- but I can show her every single thing I feel in the only way I really know how, in the only truly meaningful sex I think I have actually ever had. It hardly took long before I felt her clench around me with that exquisite tightness that undid me completely, some vague, hazy part of my mind entirely aware that someone shouted my name, if I said anything I hardly knew what it was, it may not have even be words- merely some sort of unintelligible sound that left me breathless all the same as her lips brushed against me once more- the both of us left entirely spent. We really should try not to do this when injured- just once it might be nice. Not that I'm complaining mind. I somehow managed to detangle myself from her, slowly letting her feet find the ground once more, holding her all the same just in case her legs decided not to work- I've seen that happen, trust me. What had happened to our clothes I hardly knew, although I still seemed to have at least one leg in my jeans, my shirt having become lost somewhere in the dark along with Kat's pants, although that may have been them at our feet, the blue gold of my gaze frowning slightly as my mind attempted to fight through the haze it was lost within to acknowledge exactly where we were- and why that car attended was pressed up against the window of his office with a look that was, at best, somewhere between shock and awe. Hmm- at least he can't claim his shift was boring now can he?
Although I had done a fairly good job of obscuring Kat from view most of the time, offering him little more than a view of- well, my butt. It is a nice butt though, I will wholly endorse that, I think I may have managed a smirk at my own internal monologue before reaching down to pull up my jeans once more- broken at the button and zipper were, managing to actually get myself back inside them despite having to hold them up with one hand, reaching down once more to grasp my shirt before handing it quietly to Kat- who seemed to be rapidly descending into some state of shock. Damn.

"Here- I can get home without a shirt so take mine."

Well- I had ripped hers so I suppose it was only fair, my free hand still attempting to hold my jeans up as the blue gold of my gaze begun the search for Kat's pants, at least attempting to get her dressed again before she had a meltdown entirely. Maybe that had been a little more....advanced then I truly should have let it get for what was only her second time, maybe I should have aimed for something a little more tame then exhibitionism against a wall in a public place and yet I really don't care. I wanted to do those things with her, to her, I still wanted to do them all over again and again and again. It was never going to be enough, even despite the exhaustion that was rapidly attempting to take over my body the way I think it does for any man in the aftermath. Then again, given the right stimulus I was entirely sure I could do it again. It might be better however, if we start to move before the car wash fellow can call the police, after all- I think we may have just committed a crime. My gaze flickered briefly to Kat once more, truly hoping she was not about to fall apart as the realisation of what we'd done truly begun to sink in, my hand reaching suddenly for her own as she finished getting dressed, pulling her briefly back against me as my lips found hers a final time, smiling softly against them.

"That was amazing, you are fabulous and there is not a single part of it I regret. I can only hope you feel the same."

I don't know what I was trying to do- reassure her I suppose, my words entirely true that no matter what followed, hell, I was never going to regret that- not any of it. In fact, I was rather satisfied to be honest and if I had my way I'd only take her home to do it again and fall asleep beside her- because I want to- because for the first time in my goddamn life- I want to. This love business.....is going to be the utter death of me, of that I am already sure. I moved to step back from her ever so slightly once more, meeting her gaze with my own once more, gauging her reaction, waiting for....well.....something though to be honest I suppose I expected her to run again, or shout or get angry, I'm not really sure which and I suppose I might even understand, after all- I pushed her tonight, maybe more then I should have and yet I still can't bring myself to regret even a moment of that. Hey, she's very good even for someone with almost no experience, her body utterly incredible- after all, my breathing was still slightly uneven, my hair an utter disaster, all the signs of rather incredible sex. Even so a part of me may have been bracing for her to hit me all the same.

"Come on, let's go home."






k o h l
so you want to play with magic?