His story had been so hard to relive. Malia deserved to know. She had known him when he was still happy with Henry, when he was at his peak. She also knew him at his deepest low. Though she had never asked what had happened, she deserved to know. She needed to know why he hated himself...why he slept with her. It was all important, even if she didn't understand it yet.
She speaks up and states that he's the only who can forgive himself for what he did. No matter how much Sterling cared for him, perhaps loved him, it couldn't make him forgive himself. "It's not that easy, Malia. I'm a monster." Just seeing the scars that covered his body was enough to make him sick to his stomach. He had caused so much pain to the one person he cared for more than anyone else.
Suddenly, his appetite was gone. He motioned for the waiter and asked for the check. "Malia, I'm not hungry anymore. You can take yours with you if you want...you can take my leftovers as well." He walked into the restaurant starving...but now he felt too nauseous for even dessert. "Sorry I fucked up the evening." His demons were his to carry. As much as Malia meant well, it wasn't her responsibility. He pulled out a credit card and placed it in the hands of the waiter as she came to bring the bill.