When I lived with Raven, I put my nose into every book I could get my hands on. She was teaching me how to read and I became a voracious reader. Fairy tales, sci-fi, it didn't matter. Any book was a good book when I used to only be able to stare at the pages, frustrated that I couldn't understand the magical words. I know about prince charming and knights on white horses coming to save the fair ladies but I also know enough of reality that I don't expect anything like that for myself. I don't know what I expect. I don't think about whether anyone will ever take an interest in me. It was enough of a shock for Raven to and now she's over it, apparently. I don't know why Frost is so interested other than just a number for his pack. No one else really seems to see me. Since Isolt moved out, I haven't seen her anymore. I hear she runs a pub in the East. Must keep her busy. I'm happy for her.

I don't want to hold him up long. Surely he has other things he'd rather be doing. Plus even though I feel safe with him, I still remember what he is and what I am. Our species are not meant to mingle and yet I can't get him out of my mind. I still feel tingly sometimes when I catch a whiff of him as I get close, still get that shock of fear that means I probably should be running but it's getting easier to override that instinct when it comes to Alexander. Surely he wouldn't hurt me, right? I find myself believing it more as we hang out. He seems surprised by my reaction to the job offer, like he didn't see me getting too excited over it. Of course he doesn't know what's been going on in my life recently so how could he understand that this is about the only good thing I have going for me? I find myself suddenly wanting to tell him, to air out all my frustrations and fears and ley them all on his shoulders. But I hold myself back for fear that he'll only come to see me as a burden and that's the last thing I want to be to anyone ever again. I used up that card with Raven but never again.

I nod enthusiastically when he explains a little about the cafe. I tell myself I'll make sure to be there as early as possible to help them out. I nod to let him know I was listening. I furrow my brows only a little when he tells me about the patrons. I let a bit more of the nerves show in my eyes now that he's telling me about it. I don't know how I'll be with any electronics, let alone a register. I bite my bottom lip. "Does that mean I have to touch money? Do I...have to know how to count it?" I tilt my head, looking helpless because of course I was never taught in a school. I was pretty much raised a savage and education was low on the scales. I was never taught to count or read until I moved in with Raven. He also seems surprised that I would notice his absence but it only seem natural to me to know when my friends are not around. After all, I've never felt so alone as these past few weeks. I listen carefully as he explains why he travels and I nod my head slowly though I can't look him in the eye anymore, sadness too hard to cover up at the thought of him leaving for good.

"I understand." I say in the softest voice possible. Then I realize that I'm probably killing his mood and who wants to be around a depressed woman? So I bite back the sadness and try to compose myself, pulling my chin up slowly to give him a half hearted smile. "Well I guess we'd better enjoy the time we have while you're not complacent, hm?" I reach for his hand and start to lead him toward the park, hoping he'd follow. I look back over my shoulder. "Want to park watch with me?" I bring him over to an empty park bench and as I take a seat, I look up at him and pat the spot next to me, giving him an inviting smile. Hoping that he'll take a seat, I then point out a girl jogging through the park with head phones in her ears. "That's Maggie. She had a nasty break up today with her boyfriend of 7 years." I say this matter of factly, waiting for him to reply or ask questions.

alexis wilde