you were the answer to my dreams

The vampire's crystalline gaze remained entirely settled upon the young woman in front of him, those accusatory words that so declared his efforts to wholly ignore that evening long past certainly had a fashion of bringing the smallest frown to the man's lips. He hadn't intended for tonight to go as it did. Rather, he hadn't expected anything but the usual awkwardness of two individuals that had no relation except for their preference for the third. This required a far stiffer drink then the classic bottle of wine he'd so purchased, still sitting unopened in the middle of the table. That scrape of Dorian's knife against the Corelle plate resounded in the vampire's all too sensitive ears, the man flinched ever so slightly as those words fell unbidden from his lover's lips. It was perhaps no secret to his victims that he was able to so create those undeniably pleasant sensations at the plunge of his teeth in flesh, the vampire wholly assured that Samantha too had been subject to that same sensation, much less that crushing want for him that he had forced upon the woman and yet, something about the female so voicing all that he had done to her made him decidedly uncomfortable in the presence of his lover. He shifted ever so slightly in his seat as Dorian quickly made an effort to so comment on the taste of the chicken, the very meal Sebastian had yet to even cut into.

Sebastian was well aware of that sharp response that left the young woman's lips, Samantha entirely unwilling to be brushed off in the manner they had both diligently sought to do. The force within her syllables drew his bright blue eyes towards her once again. He was well aware of the way in which her words were so spat at him, accusing him of attacking her with the same rampaging manner in which he himself had once been attacked centuries prior. His lips pressed together ever so slightly, his eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly as the King at his side so beseeched the woman to stop that shrill prosecution she so beset him with. It was with some measure of control that Sebastian so allowed his affinity to reach out to the girl, embracing her to so whisk away that fear that he could only assume was the cause of that abrasive demeanor. Her words were cut off almost entirely in that delicate moment as Sebastian so sought to regulate this quickly unraveling dinner, his bright blue eyes so settled upon the woman, watching her as she struggled to make some sort of sense in that sudden change in her own emotions. That silence was entirely precarious, though even he knew well it was but a fleeting tranquility, one ruined but moment's later by the girl's efforts to explain herself once again.

What he hadn't expected, however, was the fashion in which her own power was thrown so haphazardly at him but moment's later, that crushing wave of utter guilt so destroying him. A soft sound left his lips, his gaze turned away from the both of them. In that moment, he was unable to so deny those thoughts that tugged at him, those memories of that very fateful evening. God, he hated himself for not being able to save them, for giving into those demands of his maker, even though he'd tried so diligently to spare Samantha from that fate he'd known from the beginning would be on his consciousness. His lips twisted in a visible frown. He'd tried to do things differently. He had tried. That sound of those three simple words drew his crystalline gaze, his lips parting and yet no words fell from his mouth as she continued to express all the horrors she had experienced at his hands. And then, all at once, that feeling was gone, simply allowing him to breathe again. It was in that simple moment of trying to find himself that Dorian's own sharp tone so cut through, that noteable authority so managing to hush any explanation he might have attempted to offer either of the pair.

It was silly, perhaps, the fear he had held in Dorian so discovering this moment. This slip up, like all the other slip ups, were hardly forgotten by the vampire. Those moments in which he had brutalized others were so against his closely held morals that he found them entirely unable to do little more than distract himself from them, to push them within him so deep, but he never once forgot of them - not even her. To hear Dorian so defending him when very little of the woman's testimony was falsified in any fashion was entirely difficult, the vampire entirely assured he hardly deserved the King's efforts. He knew well the man was oblivious, in some regards, to the true extend of Sebastian's capabilities and yet, such was a fact that he failed to point out entirely. Instead, he merely remained as he was, as if somehow being the non-threatening Englishman might be enough to cause this whole topic to somehow vanish altogether but Sebastian knew well it was a feeble hope.

For a brief moment, that blue of his own gaze met the silver eyes of the man he found himself so utterly in love with and yet, that French hardly helped to console the vampire in any regard. Instead, he could hardly deny that regret that Samantha had so unlocked within him, a shame that he found difficult to shove back to that dark place he so shut from the prying eyes of the world. Instead, he offered the fae King but the weakest twitch of his lips, "C'est de ma faute." (It is my fault.) He uttered softly after a moment and yet, the vampire knew perhaps just as well it was his responsibility to fix this. If this dinner was going to be salvageable in any regards, perhaps he would play the puppeteer he had so died to become. He was assured that his relationship with Dorian was certain to suffer in some regard but to so see the man distressed with a woman he was certain the King loved too in some regard was hardly any easier. A soft breath so left his lips, the vampire straightening ever so slightly to turn his attention fully upon the woman across from him.

"You are not mistaken." He stated simply, choosing each word with delicate care to both sidestep the issue and hopefully provide enough to somehow ease those anxieties that her frame was so fraught with. So many emotions fluttered at once inside that young woman - lust, he found, was far easier to manipulate to override them all but he hardly thought Dorian might find such a situation better in the least. Instead, after a slightly pause, Sebastian continued, "I know it was not ideal, but I did what I believed was necessary to ensure I could get you out of there alive. I know, perhaps, it was not the only path but it was the best route I could see. Forgive me for my indiscretion." After all, a gentleman always admitted when he had erred if simple omission was no longer an option. It was hardly an explanation by any means, the man not touching the least upon his own affinity, that of his maker, the girl he'd simply watched die or any such details in between but he was, at least, trying to sooth the feather's his sheer existence had so ruffled and all of it was entirely for Dorian's sake.

Sebastian Ellington